Sunday 4 November 2012 
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Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7414) - you deserved it (16173)
On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8558) - you deserved it (16169)
On 10/29/2012 at 2:10pm - kids - by JiggaJayZ - United States
Today, at work I was trying to be nice and give a customer a discount because she was having trouble finding money to pay for her food. Everybody behind her then demanded a discount as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9304) - you deserved it (15700)
On 11/04/2012 at 9:16am - work - by cassiebee - United States (Utah)
Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3892) - you deserved it (15083)
On 10/30/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by embarassedmuch - United States
Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10095) - you deserved it (14525)
On 11/07/2012 at 2:31am - misc - by no cake for me (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I paid a locksmith $100 after I locked myself out of my apartment. All he did was hit it, and it flung open. It wasn't locked, it'd just got stuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6690) - you deserved it (12240)
On 11/07/2012 at 10:00am - money - by stuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18004) - you deserved it (10783)
On 11/06/2012 at 5:03pm - love - by new name (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13679) - you deserved it (9939)
On 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)
Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5993) - you deserved it (8043)
On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)
Today, while studying liver pathology and highlighting important lines in my textbook, I realized that I could count the number of words I hadn't highlighted on one hand, over the last six pages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12182) - you deserved it (7145)
On 11/01/2012 at 5:18pm - misc - by ThisisMedSchool - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13565) - you deserved it (7085)
On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14676) - you deserved it (6597)
On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23689) - you deserved it (6459)
On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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