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Tuesday 30 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML

#20150093
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20553) - you deserved it (2709)

On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML

#20149150
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20242) - you deserved it (2654)

On 11/05/2012 at 5:11pm - money - by Brooklyn - United States (Oregon)

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

#20140430
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26609) - you deserved it (2542)

On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22676) - you deserved it (2536)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27074) - you deserved it (2503)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

#20148817
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24254) - you deserved it (2462)

On 11/05/2012 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28106) - you deserved it (2442)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23614) - you deserved it (2429)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

#20142085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26077) - you deserved it (2401)

On 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm - misc - by hallofail (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33178) - you deserved it (2347)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26067) - you deserved it (2329)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

#20138333
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24249) - you deserved it (2297)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

#20141489
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23626) - you deserved it (2296)

On 10/31/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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