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Sunday 28 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

#20130407
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20776) - you deserved it (2359)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

#20133872
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15959) - you deserved it (2325)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

#20140430
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23994) - you deserved it (2298)

On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

#20134273
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23439) - you deserved it (2277)

On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

#20142085
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24583) - you deserved it (2234)

On 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm - misc - by hallofail (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15246) - you deserved it (2226)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML

#20134512
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18065) - you deserved it (2215)

On 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

#20138973
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24593) - you deserved it (2195)

On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)

Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML

#20143313
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26526) - you deserved it (2152)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23013) - you deserved it (2150)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30427) - you deserved it (2133)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26086) - you deserved it (2091)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to convert to a Christian. Not because she has a strong relation with God, but because she wants to post Facebook statuses about Him and "get a lot of likes." FML

#20131695
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18478) - you deserved it (2078)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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