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Sunday 21 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML

#20119129
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11173) - you deserved it (64448)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML

#20134961
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14044) - you deserved it (61117)

On 10/27/2012 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Cslouth - United States (New York)

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

#20117763
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7889) - you deserved it (60467)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11433) - you deserved it (56767)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7039) - you deserved it (56197)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML

#20131351
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19299) - you deserved it (50137)

On 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the person that interviewed me for a job was the same person I called a "fat bitch" at a baseball game after she knocked over my drink while she was dancing. She recognized me too. FML

#20119038
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9428) - you deserved it (42671)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:16am - work - by leafscupwin - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was so engrossed in a phone call that I drove off without pumping gas after I'd prepaid $50. FML

#20121962
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8284) - you deserved it (41635)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:50am - money - by Dr_Gip - United States

Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

#20129645
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13161) - you deserved it (39854)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19am - money - by Dinger1992 - United States

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

#20125076
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12480) - you deserved it (37971)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:57am - intimacy - by MIND BLOWING - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered a way to send a massive number of text messages to someone simultaneously, so I decided to do it to my friend as a prank. I quickly noticed that I forgot to disable the delivery notification feature. FML

#20124484
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4969) - you deserved it (37334) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/19/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Jugan - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10722) - you deserved it (36698)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, after being totally in love with a guy since middle school, I finally had enough self confidence to go and talk to him. Turns out he's boring as fuck. I obsessed over this guy for nearly 4 years. FML

#20123261
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12127) - you deserved it (35443)

On 10/18/2012 at 10:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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