Tuesday 31 July 2012 
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Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5902) - you deserved it (32969)
On 07/31/2012 at 11:53am - love - by TheMissMuffly (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9656) - you deserved it (24546)
On 07/30/2012 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I decided to have some fun by joining a Harry Potter forum and making a thread saying it's all for little kids. When I checked back later, my post had been edited into me tearfully coming out of the closet, and some guy had said he'd passed my details on to Anonymous. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3723) - you deserved it (22954)
On 08/05/2012 at 4:21pm - misc - by icybrent94 (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22179) - you deserved it (22005)
On 08/01/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, what I thought would be a romantic sleepover with the guy I like quickly turned into hell on earth when his girlfriend showed up. I had to scale the fire escape in my underwear so I could get back to my car in one piece. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6921) - you deserved it (20942)
On 08/04/2012 at 4:05pm - love - by nikki - Greece (Kikladhes)
Today, I was fired from my job. My boss turned to everyone and said, "Allow me to escort this trash out of the office." Everyone cheered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9910) - you deserved it (20647)
On 08/02/2012 at 2:50am - work - by Unwanted - United States (California)
Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6116) - you deserved it (20473)
Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7482) - you deserved it (20136)
On 08/07/2012 at 3:48am - misc - by Embarrassed - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6757) - you deserved it (17240)
On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3407) - you deserved it (16140)
On 08/06/2012 at 7:25pm - misc - by maybenot (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I discovered that when I'm drunk, I hate wearing clothes. And it doesn't matter who is around to see it, not even my soon-to-be father-in-law. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4737) - you deserved it (16048)
On 08/02/2012 at 1:10am - misc - by wherermypants (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to a corner store to re-stock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6874) - you deserved it (14956)
On 07/30/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by fmlgrl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6759) - you deserved it (14551)
On 08/04/2012 at 3:14pm - kids - by me - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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