Wednesday 4 July 2012 
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Today, I'm accused of vandalizing a cop car during a night of partying, and in so doing, violating my parole. While talking with my lawyer, who I spent all my savings on, I said he could hire better than his hideous secretary. Turns out she's his wife. I think I'm now more screwed than ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4068) - you deserved it (39412)
On 07/09/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by jillie minaj (woman) - United States
Today, I had my end of year physics exam. I wasn't sure about some stuff, so I hid my notes and textbook in the bathroom. Halfway through, I got up, went to the bathroom, and as soon as I picked up the book, forgot what I was looking for. I can't even cheat right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4621) - you deserved it (34652)
On 07/02/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6215) - you deserved it (34270)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5095) - you deserved it (33973)
On 07/02/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by FuckYou - United States (California)
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14213) - you deserved it (31252)
On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4629) - you deserved it (26182) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, a woman asked why my daughter doesn't look remotely like me. I just smiled and shrugged it off, but the truth is that she looks exactly like I did before I got my botched plastic surgery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5729) - you deserved it (25238)
On 07/07/2012 at 3:13pm - kids - by momolee (woman) - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)
Today, I spent my entire paycheck on a new summer wardrobe. I then left my shopping bags on the train. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11475) - you deserved it (23101)
On 07/11/2012 at 8:02pm - money - by Ashley - United States (New York)
Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8414) - you deserved it (22889)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Jenna (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5183) - you deserved it (22474)
On 07/10/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by mustanggt (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5702) - you deserved it (21331)
On 07/04/2012 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5351) - you deserved it (21267)
On 07/09/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10551) - you deserved it (20835)
On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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