Today, I'm accused of vandalizing a cop car during a night of partying, and in so doing, violating my parole. While talking with my lawyer, who I spent all my savings on, I said he could hire better than his hideous secretary. Turns out she's his wife. I think I'm now more screwed than ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4068) - you deserved it (39419)
On 07/09/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by jillie minaj (woman) - United States
Today, I had my end of year physics exam. I wasn't sure about some stuff, so I hid my notes and textbook in the bathroom. Halfway through, I got up, went to the bathroom, and as soon as I picked up the book, forgot what I was looking for. I can't even cheat right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4621) - you deserved it (34660)
On 07/02/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6217) - you deserved it (34276)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5095) - you deserved it (33980)
On 07/02/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by FuckYou - United States (California)
Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4629) - you deserved it (26183) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, a woman asked why my daughter doesn't look remotely like me. I just smiled and shrugged it off, but the truth is that she looks exactly like I did before I got my botched plastic surgery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5733) - you deserved it (25243)
On 07/07/2012 at 3:13pm - kids - by momolee (woman) - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)
Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8414) - you deserved it (22892)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Jenna (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5703) - you deserved it (21336)
On 07/04/2012 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5353) - you deserved it (21273)
On 07/09/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11327) - you deserved it (19622)
On 07/04/2012 at 10:45am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was walking in Walmart with my dad. We walked past the deodorant aisle. My dad said, "Need any deodorant?" I said, "No thanks." He replied, "That was a hint." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7039) - you deserved it (19362)
On 07/06/2012 at 2:52am - misc - by CanadianTwin - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was sitting the living room, when my mom commented on the smell of garlic in the air. After ten minutes of searching for the source, she gave up. I was too embarrassed to admit that I'd tried using garlic to cure my yeast infection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6734) - you deserved it (18269)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by yeastly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I packed all my clothes in a black garbage bag, so I could easily move them to my new house. When I came back outside to load it into my car, the bag was missing, and all I could see was a garbage truck driving away with the week's trash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9415) - you deserved it (17911)
On 07/07/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by Ali - United States (Hawaii)
Monday 20 May 2013
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