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Monday 25 June 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

#19861407
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4280) - you deserved it (57304)

On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had my end of year physics exam. I wasn't sure about some stuff, so I hid my notes and textbook in the bathroom. Halfway through, I got up, went to the bathroom, and as soon as I picked up the book, forgot what I was looking for. I can't even cheat right. FML

#19879559
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4625) - you deserved it (34665)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

#19879302
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5096) - you deserved it (33983)

On 07/02/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by FuckYou - United States (California)

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

#19848753
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4724) - you deserved it (33215)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw my best friend, who's a cop. He was dressed up in regular clothes and with six other guys. I said, "Officer T.? Didn't you have work today?" Turns out he was undercover, and I blew his investigation. FML

#19874975
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14038) - you deserved it (29682)

On 07/01/2012 at 4:45am - misc - by immabitch - United States

Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML

#19857408
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7315) - you deserved it (25563)

On 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm - kids - by apparantlyStupid - Canada (Alberta)

Today, an attractive guy asked me to get coffee with him. My response was, "I don't drink coffee." I just turned down the first guy that's asked me out in 3 months. FML

#19861770
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5644) - you deserved it (24502)

On 06/28/2012 at 5:55pm - love - by sierra - United States

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML

#19848904
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7020) - you deserved it (22711)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:18am - work - by cmck932012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

#19853793
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5594) - you deserved it (22197)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)

Today, I was finally able to drive my brother's nice car instead of my clunker, because he left for college. First thing I do? Back into the neighbors' mailbox while exiting the driveway. FML

#19853674
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3706) - you deserved it (19148)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:20am - misc - by GirlOnTheFly (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

#19864989
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10568) - you deserved it (18308)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

#19861298
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6905) - you deserved it (17532) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm - misc - by Bernadette (woman) -

Today, my husband and I went to the store. Because we have no car, we had to walk four miles in the 115 fahrenheit weather. It didn't click until we were standing outside the door with a metric shit-tonne of ice-cream, that we'd have to tear ass back home to keep it all from melting. FML

#19876028
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4582) - you deserved it (16409)

On 07/01/2012 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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