Monday 18 June 2012 
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Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4636) - you deserved it (48971)
On 06/21/2012 at 12:11am - work - by daddy'sgirl - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7768) - you deserved it (34284)
On 06/19/2012 at 1:20pm - work - by hc11bmd (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6804) - you deserved it (31874)
On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8628) - you deserved it (23819)
On 06/18/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States
Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10447) - you deserved it (22968)
On 06/22/2012 at 9:08am - misc - by ExplosiveDildo (woman) - Afghanistan
Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4662) - you deserved it (22215)
On 06/21/2012 at 9:28pm - love - by a stupid jackass (man) - United States (New York)
Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9439) - you deserved it (21383)
On 06/21/2012 at 6:02am - health - by TheDumper (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I fell asleep while on the toilet at work. When I woke up, I tried to quietly sneak back to my desk, only to be caught by my boss. He immediately sent me packing and gave his "best wishes" for me in the unemployment line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7012) - you deserved it (18145)
On 06/23/2012 at 6:21pm - work - by XoXonedirectionXoXo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boyfriend told me I was almost perfect. And the only reason I'm not completely perfect is because I don't like Mountain Dew. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12923) - you deserved it (17655)
On 06/24/2012 at 1:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9151) - you deserved it (15686)
On 06/21/2012 at 11:07pm - misc - by yeah - United States
Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5328) - you deserved it (14378)
On 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by hakura madada - Japan (Tokyo)
Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18542) - you deserved it (13073)
On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)
Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18871) - you deserved it (10827)
On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Friday 24 May 2013
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