Friday 15 June 2012 
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Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5792) - you deserved it (75912)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)
Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4635) - you deserved it (48960)
On 06/21/2012 at 12:11am - work - by daddy'sgirl - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my best friend and I broke up with our respective girlfriends, so we could go on holiday and meet lots of new women. Instead, within a few hours, he got back with his ex, and they're planning their own holiday together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5225) - you deserved it (38318)
On 06/17/2012 at 12:08pm - love - by JPTK (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7768) - you deserved it (34280)
On 06/19/2012 at 1:20pm - work - by hc11bmd (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4883) - you deserved it (32398)
On 06/15/2012 at 5:43am - animals - by Anna (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6360) - you deserved it (28900)
On 06/11/2012 at 8:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4635) - you deserved it (26577)
On 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)
Today, I tried to go to the gym, but I ended up watching cat videos on YouTube for three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7569) - you deserved it (24151)
On 06/15/2012 at 7:27am - health - by latino14 - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8626) - you deserved it (23813)
On 06/18/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States
Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10446) - you deserved it (22961)
On 06/22/2012 at 9:08am - misc - by ExplosiveDildo (woman) - Afghanistan
Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4662) - you deserved it (22205)
On 06/21/2012 at 9:28pm - love - by a stupid jackass (man) - United States (New York)
Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9436) - you deserved it (21379)
On 06/21/2012 at 6:02am - health - by TheDumper (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8082) - you deserved it (20802)
On 06/13/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Rebecca (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 20 May 2013
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