Monday 11 June 2012 
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Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5790) - you deserved it (75830)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)
Today, my best friend and I broke up with our respective girlfriends, so we could go on holiday and meet lots of new women. Instead, within a few hours, he got back with his ex, and they're planning their own holiday together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5223) - you deserved it (38292)
On 06/17/2012 at 12:08pm - love - by JPTK (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4880) - you deserved it (32388)
On 06/15/2012 at 5:43am - animals - by Anna (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6359) - you deserved it (28883)
On 06/11/2012 at 8:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4633) - you deserved it (26556)
On 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)
Today, I tried to go to the gym, but I ended up watching cat videos on YouTube for three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7568) - you deserved it (24138)
On 06/15/2012 at 7:27am - health - by latino14 - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8624) - you deserved it (23805)
On 06/18/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States
Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8078) - you deserved it (20792)
On 06/13/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Rebecca (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6448) - you deserved it (19864)
On 06/11/2012 at 4:44pm - health - by Ciara (woman) - Ireland (Cork)
Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8334) - you deserved it (18930)
On 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by kitty shah - United States
Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8187) - you deserved it (17829)
On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9150) - you deserved it (17082)
Today, I got really bored at work. I decided to spin myself around and around in my chair until I got really dizzy. Apparently my boss decided to start watching me do this while I was in mid-spin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3978) - you deserved it (16701)
On 06/12/2012 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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