Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13843) - you deserved it (43641)
On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)
Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4572) - you deserved it (37943)
On 06/09/2012 at 7:04pm - love - by UnluckyGroom (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14651) - you deserved it (37216)
On 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)
Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9961) - you deserved it (31330)
On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10377) - you deserved it (31242)
On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14432) - you deserved it (29433)
On 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3810) - you deserved it (29372)
On 06/03/2012 at 1:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9199) - you deserved it (29282)
On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)
Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11935) - you deserved it (28904)
On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14692) - you deserved it (26572)
On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I saw Thor and I wanted to see how realistic it was to be swinging a hammer around. Wrong idea. I ended up unconscious on the ground for ten whole minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3670) - you deserved it (25161)
On 06/08/2012 at 4:09am - misc - by runner2731 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5662) - you deserved it (24922)
On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)
Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9858) - you deserved it (24112)
On 06/02/2012 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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