Saturday 5 May 2012 
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Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18878) - you deserved it (2635)
On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13703) - you deserved it (2633)
On 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I wrecked my car and got rushed to the emergency room. While strapped to a gurney, a nurse reached in my back pocket, grabbed my wallet and pulled the velcro keeping my wallet shut. The entire room immediately started laughing as condoms and loose change went flying everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13358) - you deserved it (2570)
On 05/04/2012 at 10:34am - misc - by UnderConstruction (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24792) - you deserved it (2558)
On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States
Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22432) - you deserved it (2530)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17854) - you deserved it (2524)
On 05/11/2012 at 9:24am - misc - by MobPerfect (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, after weeks of intense studying with the intent of pulling my grades up, I saw that in fact, they've all gone down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16354) - you deserved it (2405)
On 05/04/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Rae - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23664) - you deserved it (2355)
On 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by rolyat (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13769) - you deserved it (2345)
On 05/05/2012 at 2:12pm - misc - by leftoutdrunk - Canada (Alberta)
Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14265) - you deserved it (2340)
On 05/07/2012 at 11:57am - work - by notrocketscience (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone seemed interested, and was especially curious to know if I could "model" it for him, in "stockings and suspenders." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16757) - you deserved it (2327)
On 04/30/2012 at 11:50am - intimacy - by NotAModel (woman) - United States
Today, my parents left on a trip. I wanted to invite my girlfriend over for a few days so we could spend them together. Then my grandparents turn up, "just for a few days, until your parents return, so you won't be alone in this big house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17852) - you deserved it (2307)
On 05/03/2012 at 12:39am - love - by homealone (man) - Canada
Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19543) - you deserved it (2295)
On 05/12/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by CalyenaL (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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