Saturday 5 May 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I had to convince my 28-year-old boyfriend to take down his booger wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14257) - you deserved it (3450)
On 05/06/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by fock (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it was the concert of my life. I had bought tickets the minute they went on sale, and I'd anxiously waited until the concert date. 30 minutes before the show, my friend got so drunk that we weren't allowed in, and I was stuck babysitting her all night in the hotel, completely missing the show. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23868) - you deserved it (3409)
On 05/03/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by savanna (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22006) - you deserved it (3381)
On 05/02/2012 at 6:06pm - intimacy - by S12Sophia (woman) - France
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19168) - you deserved it (3349)
On 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by A-64 (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)
Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14664) - you deserved it (3336)
On 05/08/2012 at 12:41pm - animals - by gl0b3suck0r (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21723) - you deserved it (3320)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13894) - you deserved it (3284)
On 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by tinydancer (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29108) - you deserved it (3236)
On 05/07/2012 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by coffeeshopgirl (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20982) - you deserved it (3224)
On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14207) - you deserved it (3223)
On 05/06/2012 at 5:57pm - health - by billiams15 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13914) - you deserved it (3166)
On 05/02/2012 at 2:16am - love - by muddled (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15542) - you deserved it (3164)
On 05/01/2012 at 9:58am - work - by Nice (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14103) - you deserved it (3153)
On 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by screwedupkid -
Monday 17 June 2013
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