Saturday 5 May 2012 
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Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14742) - you deserved it (5548)
On 05/05/2012 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14935) - you deserved it (5479)
On 05/02/2012 at 2:34pm - misc - by EyeSeeYou (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16138) - you deserved it (5469)
On 05/05/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by 464424 - United States (Ohio)
Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25103) - you deserved it (5454)
On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States
Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22803) - you deserved it (4921)
On 05/06/2012 at 2:01pm - love - by Bridget (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I gave a homeless guy a dollar. Instead of a simple "Thank you" I got an unwanted hug. I can't wash the pee smell off me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16397) - you deserved it (4843)
On 04/30/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I tried whitening my teeth with an off-brand product. It didn't whiten my teeth, but it did burn parts of my gums off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15067) - you deserved it (4695)
On 05/02/2012 at 11:19am - health - by gumless - United States
Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17038) - you deserved it (4525)
On 05/07/2012 at 10:08am - misc - by thepigeonsfriend (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I found out my boyfriend gave me a surprise birthday present: herpes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29336) - you deserved it (4473)
On 04/30/2012 at 11:01pm - intimacy - by lowlife123 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16063) - you deserved it (4368)
On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17058) - you deserved it (4367)
Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28985) - you deserved it (4265)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked in on my daughter attempting to iron her pants with a hair straightener. She's 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15752) - you deserved it (4060)
On 05/08/2012 at 2:08am - kids - by SomePeoplesKids - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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