Friday 2 March 2012 
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Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4172) - you deserved it (57172)
On 03/09/2012 at 2:04pm - misc - by KrazyKill - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on in a water park changing stall. A woman and a security guard barged in and angrily told us that there were children around. We were escorted out of the park wearing nothing but our swimsuits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5088) - you deserved it (54879)
On 03/05/2012 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, my new roommate told me he was bisexual. A little concerned, I opened up and told him that made me uncomfortable. His reply: "Oh don't worry, I'm only attracted to good looking guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9796) - you deserved it (38420)
On 03/07/2012 at 9:01am - misc - by Leland - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6186) - you deserved it (37897) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10589) - you deserved it (36242)
On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States
Today, I accused a student in my class of getting his dad to do his homework. It turns out that his dad died 2 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5148) - you deserved it (35732)
On 03/09/2012 at 1:43am - work - by ITM21 - United States
Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6553) - you deserved it (35715)
On 03/04/2012 at 7:27pm - money - by stuff2710 - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10576) - you deserved it (35201)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12497) - you deserved it (29399)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9366) - you deserved it (29039)
On 03/07/2012 at 1:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6287) - you deserved it (24448)
On 03/09/2012 at 8:56pm - kids - by mikey51 (man) - Australia
Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22376) - you deserved it (24246)
On 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by sad face - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9905) - you deserved it (23214)
On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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