Thursday 1 March 2012 
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Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6808) - you deserved it (21593)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by areyouserious - United States
Today, my family made a fake boyfriend for me on Facebook, since it's been so long since I had one. I accepted the relationship request to try and trick people into thinking I actually had a boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7293) - you deserved it (20504)
On 03/02/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32970) - you deserved it (19752)
On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)
Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8362) - you deserved it (19379)
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6486) - you deserved it (19351)
On 02/29/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after handing out several résumés for several jobs, I realized that I forgot to add my phone number to them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7253) - you deserved it (18703)
On 02/29/2012 at 1:21pm - work - by tammylauraine - United States
Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5903) - you deserved it (18291)
On 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by argh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5755) - you deserved it (18220)
On 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm - misc - by asdfBUTT (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16691) - you deserved it (17997)
On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6231) - you deserved it (16284)
On 02/29/2012 at 1:29am - health - by Ismellbacon - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6278) - you deserved it (15641)
On 03/05/2012 at 5:55pm - misc - by mark (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9308) - you deserved it (15077)
On 03/06/2012 at 2:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got extremely wasted and decided to take a shower with my boyfriend. What seemed like a good and sexy idea turned into us falling and getting wedged in the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7030) - you deserved it (14962)
On 02/29/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by cfaul001 - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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