Sunday 26 February 2012 
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Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7283) - you deserved it (38895)
On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6185) - you deserved it (37896) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6553) - you deserved it (35716)
On 03/04/2012 at 7:27pm - money - by stuff2710 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6811) - you deserved it (34974)
On 02/20/2012 at 5:01am - misc - by elizabethyeo - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5153) - you deserved it (32962)
On 02/22/2012 at 11:47am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was so busy checking my phone for live bus arrival times I didn't notice the bus pull up, let the people beside me on and drive away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5232) - you deserved it (31809)
Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9402) - you deserved it (31478)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12495) - you deserved it (29394)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10509) - you deserved it (26983)
On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I noticed a flash car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3636) - you deserved it (24753)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:00am - misc - by Bellend (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4475) - you deserved it (24655)
On 02/20/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my landlady roasted a joint of beef and the whole house smelled wonderful. OK, even if I am a masochistic vegetarian and former omnivore, that was way beyond cruel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5918) - you deserved it (23912)
Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8204) - you deserved it (23848) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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