Friday 24 February 2012 
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Today, I vacuumed my car as I'm trying to sell it. After the interior was clean, I sprayed some air freshener. The chosen smell was "new car". I think they mislabeled it, as my car now smells like urinal cakes. I have two potential buyers coming tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14904) - you deserved it (3280)
On 03/02/2012 at 5:19am - misc - by Urinal Fresh - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to stop measuring his penis during our conversation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20187) - you deserved it (3267)
On 02/27/2012 at 6:06am - intimacy - by facepalm (woman) - United States
Today, I joined a new choir. My director asked me if my best friend was actually my girlfriend. Taken aback, I said no, I was not a lesbian. He then asked me to clarify my gender. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22326) - you deserved it (3148)
On 03/01/2012 at 4:43pm - misc - by Rachel - United States
Today, I came back from a holiday and the friend who'd been looking after my cats returned my spare key. When I wanted to put some relaxing music on, I noticed that he'd switched most of my CDs around in their cases. I have over a thousand of them. Very funny, thanks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16035) - you deserved it (2961)
On 02/23/2012 at 6:52pm - misc - by Veryfunny (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19699) - you deserved it (2860)
On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18191) - you deserved it (2856)
On 02/27/2012 at 7:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, during a slow dance, my date wrapped his arms around my waist. Right as I touched his neck he says, "Sorry, I'm slightly sweaty." He wasn't lying. For the longest two minutes of my life I was swimming in his sweat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15900) - you deserved it (2855)
On 02/27/2012 at 12:12am - love - by SwimminginSweat (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of two years kept digging around in his belly button and smelling his fingers. At one point he shoved his fingers in my face and told me to smell his belly button. He's 27 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15337) - you deserved it (2850)
On 03/02/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by smellybelly (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two years. I realized I was going to be late for work, so I asked him to hand me my underwear. I had never seen the underwear he gave me before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30574) - you deserved it (2840)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by vsshopper (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22406) - you deserved it (2800)
On 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by . - United States (California)
Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16397) - you deserved it (2786)
On 02/28/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by malloreigh (woman) - Australia
Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16394) - you deserved it (2733)
On 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (140) - you deserved it (2728)
On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom
Friday 24 May 2013
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