Friday 17 February 2012 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6855) - you deserved it (82020)
On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8016) - you deserved it (41503)
On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States
Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7290) - you deserved it (38904)
On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to leave the movie theater early because I couldn't fit in the chairs. I guess I'll see it when it comes out on DVD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11663) - you deserved it (38124)
Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6814) - you deserved it (34998)
On 02/20/2012 at 5:01am - misc - by elizabethyeo - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5155) - you deserved it (32981)
On 02/22/2012 at 11:47am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was so busy checking my phone for live bus arrival times I didn't notice the bus pull up, let the people beside me on and drive away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5232) - you deserved it (31819)
Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9408) - you deserved it (31484)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10522) - you deserved it (27000)
On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I noticed a flash car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3641) - you deserved it (24766)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:00am - misc - by Bellend (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4475) - you deserved it (24673)
On 02/20/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to shit out a second story window is a very bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4159) - you deserved it (24623)
On 02/13/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by michael (man) - United States
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12835) - you deserved it (24591)
On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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