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Monday 30 January 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad killed my pet rats. They were playing on the sofa, and he thought they were vermin. This would have been understandable if the reason he came over wasn't to meet them, and they hadn't been wearing bright pink walking harnesses. FML

#18982285
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20177) - you deserved it (4877)

On 02/03/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML

#18979126
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18935) - you deserved it (4868)

On 02/02/2012 at 8:02pm - love - by lillymean (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I went to my first party, hoping to maybe meet some people. I was there for 4 hours, and the person/thing that I interacted most with was a cat. FML

#19009363
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16033) - you deserved it (4680)

On 02/06/2012 at 10:32am - misc - by haileypaige123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butt hole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML

#18973546
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14399) - you deserved it (4503)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:57pm - health - by 11niko (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realised how socially inept I am, when I muttered an apology to my laptop after I noticed I hadn't plugged its charger in. FML

#19001637
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15082) - you deserved it (4318)

On 02/05/2012 at 2:39pm - misc - by KDM - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML

#18977119
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23140) - you deserved it (4287)

On 02/02/2012 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, a train hit me. A slow mini-train full of kindergartners who were on a tour of the museum I was visiting. FML

#19004597
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15546) - you deserved it (4163)

On 02/05/2012 at 9:14pm - health - by MahSquito (man) - United States

Today, I pulled into a parking lot and waited for a car to back out so I could take their spot. The apparently batshit insane psychopath in the other car managed to completely overlook me waving him out, and backed straight into my car. FML

#19002086
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14391) - you deserved it (4040)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I picked up my driver's licence and my keys off the floor at the same time, using only my toes. This was the highlight of my day. FML

#18949716
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14310) - you deserved it (3908)

On 01/30/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

#18998575
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17270) - you deserved it (3869)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19371) - you deserved it (3848)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31009) - you deserved it (3812)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML

#18992832
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23515) - you deserved it (3790)

On 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by me - United States (Texas)



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