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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Tuesday 14 February 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML

#19066381 (312)

I agree, your life sucks (545) - you deserved it (9447)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

#19064415 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (1151) - you deserved it (6549)

On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sent out a text saying "Smile! You're beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." to most of my contacts. I got one reply, from my best friend, saying, "Are you fucking stupid?" FML

#19064637 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (1847) - you deserved it (4872)

On 02/13/2012 at 11:27am - misc - by dis_bee_leaf (woman) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

#19062488 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (5094) - you deserved it (1454)

On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to shit out a second story window is a very bad idea. FML

#19069104 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (156) - you deserved it (1312)

On 02/13/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by michael (man) - United States

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

#19062994 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (4036) - you deserved it (797)

On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML

#19066123 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (2584) - you deserved it (532)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:23pm - kids - by Katherine - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I spent an hour cleaning my already-clean house to avoid any form of conversation with my boyfriend. FML

#19071135 (46)

I agree, your life sucks (189) - you deserved it (404)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:50am - love - by kiwi023 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (2442) - you deserved it (381)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

#19063795 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (3559) - you deserved it (339)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -

Today, I finally received my passport. Too bad my flight to Italy left last week. FML

#19070055 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (884) - you deserved it (290)

On 02/13/2012 at 11:22pm - misc - by ontherun2012 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I cracked a rib coughing. FML

#19063731 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (4092) - you deserved it (275)

On 02/13/2012 at 6:32am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML

#19067640 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (1049) - you deserved it (133)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by chlolivia (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)