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Thursday 17 April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to convince my 3-year-old son that there were monsters in the house just so he would lie in bed and cuddle me. FML

#21112742
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27480) - you deserved it (19532)

On 04/14/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by tinytiny1124 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I wanted to prove to my dad that I can drive, so that he'd let me use his car in future. Let's just say I helped him remove the fence that he was planning to repair. FML

#21112820
60 comments

Today, I handed in the answer sheet an hour into a 3-hour long exam because I couldn't answer most of the questions. Now, everyone thinks I'm genius because I "finished" quickly and they want me to tutor them. FML

#21113382
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29282) - you deserved it (8440)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:35am - work - by idontknowwhatiamdoing (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm 25 years old, I've got an education and I only now found out in front of 15 people that, no, sparrows are not small pigeons that are going to grow up. FML

#21115335
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5440) - you deserved it (8754) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/17/2014 at 6:37am - animals - by pablito - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (7652)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26582) - you deserved it (7415)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

#21113376
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30059) - you deserved it (4954)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:24am - misc - by heycutie - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33958) - you deserved it (4578)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (4439)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

#21112602
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35399) - you deserved it (4297)

On 04/14/2014 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37217) - you deserved it (4277)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32316) - you deserved it (3998)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

#21112565
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33341) - you deserved it (3973)

On 04/14/2014 at 2:29am - intimacy - by teddyissmall (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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Thursday 10 April 2014

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