Saturday 18 May 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15018) - you deserved it (26586)
On 05/16/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by Calaraphea (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)
Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24698) - you deserved it (18778)
On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34494) - you deserved it (16731)
On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States
Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28063) - you deserved it (15207)
On 05/14/2013 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25188) - you deserved it (10781)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31357) - you deserved it (9674)
On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34481) - you deserved it (7732)
On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)
Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39285) - you deserved it (7510)
On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I registered on an irritable bowel support group, unknowingly linking it to my Facebook wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27689) - you deserved it (7237)
On 05/16/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31800) - you deserved it (7150)
On 05/15/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39648) - you deserved it (6903)
On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)
Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20788) - you deserved it (6726)
On 05/17/2013 at 4:49pm - health - by sprainedankle - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)
Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34246) - you deserved it (6358)
On 05/15/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Redfaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
