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Thursday 23 October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

#21282480
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16226) - you deserved it (20689)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by GetMeTheDamnBleach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to google the definition of transsexual just to know what the hell my friends were talking about. I need to read a book. FML

#21282666
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10421) - you deserved it (16280)

On 10/21/2014 at 8:36pm - misc - by Awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27681) - you deserved it (8048)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, I came out as bisexual to my friends via group message. They didn't respond; I had a panic attack. An hour later, one of my friends texted back, "k". FML

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

#21282367
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26835) - you deserved it (5395)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of 'setting her off', when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks". All I did was say the word 'abortion'. FML

#21281594
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26613) - you deserved it (4804)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:31am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24438) - you deserved it (3764)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML

#21282844
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19202) - you deserved it (3561)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by HeckIfIKnow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after months of job hunting, I started a new job in a deli. I've been a vegetarian since I was 13, but it was the only job I could find. Turns out, I'm allergic to the preservatives they use, as my fingers now resemble sausages. Guess it's time to start job hunting again. FML

Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML

Today, my sister ended her long and extremely annoying crush on Justin Bieber. I can only hope one day my girlfriend will end hers too. FML

#21282066
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (2746)

On 10/20/2014 at 10:29pm - love - by DanTheMan (man) -



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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