Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43051) - you deserved it (4411)
On 05/03/2013 at 7:32am - health - by poopydaddy - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76577) - you deserved it (4403)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35292) - you deserved it (4380)
On 05/01/2013 at 7:22pm - animals - by Annonymous_Dad (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34272) - you deserved it (4352)
On 05/16/2013 at 1:58am - love - by married life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32007) - you deserved it (4327)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33248) - you deserved it (4331)
On 05/18/2013 at 1:22am - love - by Sarsippius -
Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73781) - you deserved it (4315)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41212) - you deserved it (4302)
On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands
Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45032) - you deserved it (4286)
On 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Sankt Gallen)
Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48689) - you deserved it (4253)
On 05/11/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Bridget - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34936) - you deserved it (4255)
On 05/08/2013 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68700) - you deserved it (4155)
On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35146) - you deserved it (4118)
On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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