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September 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while fishing my remote out from behind the couch, I found my fiancé's stash of old toenails. FML

#21257075
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32828) - you deserved it (2938)

On 09/12/2014 at 6:27pm - misc - by jjhach (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, while on the bus, a friendly-looking guy smiled at me, so I smiled back. He then pointed at my teeth and said, "You gonna get those fixed, or just keep them as a conversation starter?" FML

Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML

#21261750
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28011) - you deserved it (2929)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
149 comments

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34305) - you deserved it (2932)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

#21251580
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36793) - you deserved it (2893)

On 09/04/2014 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a garage sale, and had amongst my clothing a few sets of underwear. A old man came up and asked to buy all of them. I'm so poor, I couldn't say no to the pervert. FML

#21262480
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15537) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/21/2014 at 2:23pm - money - by sickened (woman) - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, my horrible boss sent me a Facebook friend request for the fifth time, in her attempt to not only bother me at work, but also through social media. FML

#21254692
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32307) - you deserved it (2864)

On 09/08/2014 at 9:26pm - work - by notyourfriend (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

#21261267
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29715) - you deserved it (2847)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France

Today, I started a new job. Three of my Kenyan coworkers keep getting together and reminding me that having more than one wife is okay in their country. I've gotten 3 marriage proposals from married men so far. FML

#21255696
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33729) - you deserved it (2815)

On 09/10/2014 at 1:16pm - work - by notmarryingyou - United States (Washington)

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

#21255951
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34771) - you deserved it (2818)

On 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by no - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

#21250056
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34719) - you deserved it (2796)

On 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm - health - by germophobe (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a middle-aged customer tried to pay for a $2 ice cream bar with a credit card. It was declined, so he made me swipe it again. Declined. "Quit touching the metal strip," he scowled. I held the outer edge of it and swiped. Declined. He then bitched me out as his mother paid for him. FML



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