Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31796) - you deserved it (3255)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

#21276741
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33817) - you deserved it (3218)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:13am - animals - by MissBeyoncé - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML

#21276854
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34351) - you deserved it (3197)

On 10/13/2014 at 11:42am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

#21274083
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33693) - you deserved it (3173)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:27am - love - by MoRuined (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I got back from a weekend at my best friend's house. Apparently, he and his friend invented a new game. It involves sticking duct tape to their pubic hairs, ripping them out, and sticking as many as possible on my face and body before I wake up. FML

#21276742
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30698) - you deserved it (3165)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:17am - misc - by wtfguys - United States

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

#21274403
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29060) - you deserved it (3152)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26366) - you deserved it (3169)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML

#21277907
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29761) - you deserved it (3136)

On 10/14/2014 at 8:13pm - misc - by ForeverAlone - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

#21282479
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26122) - you deserved it (3099)

On 10/21/2014 at 4:13pm - misc - by Airplane crap - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that I am "un-promotable" to the job that I have been promised for the last two years because, I "don't suffer idiots well." Idiots. FML

Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML

#21283051
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25904) - you deserved it (3109)

On 10/22/2014 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML

#21273346
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38107) - you deserved it (3066)

On 10/08/2014 at 5:01am - misc - by rockytrolley - Cyprus

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

#21273306
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35669) - you deserved it (3042)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:02am - animals - by queenmeme - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: