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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML

#21395867
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27895) - you deserved it (3013)

On 04/18/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Armstrong (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was paired up with my long-term crush for a project. She introduced herself to me and asked if I was new this year. We've gone to the same school since kindergarten. FML

#21390271
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32530) - you deserved it (2996)

On 04/08/2015 at 9:58pm - love - by Heart-Broken - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

#21389247
101 comments

Today, I went to class to take an important final for which I studied all week long and worked hard in class. Today, the teacher also told us that anyone who had an A did not have to take the final. I missed out on a trip to the Bahamas for this. FML

Today, a cute, new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML

#21399135
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22916) - you deserved it (2952)

On 04/24/2015 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

#21387562
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28859) - you deserved it (2922)

On 04/04/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by n - United States

Today, I found out my best friend's girlfriend is cheating on him with his own brother. I went over to his place and told him everything while his girlfriend was in the same room. He called me a jealous liar who wanted to break them up, and kicked me out while she looked on, smirking. FML

#21396139
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29337) - you deserved it (2900)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:08am - misc - by Anunimos (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my prom dress came in the mail. I don't know what happened with the tailoring but not only does it not fit, but it also looks like deli meat. FML

#21396978
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23717) - you deserved it (2882)

On 04/20/2015 at 5:41pm - misc - by Deli meat prom - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML

Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

#21396226
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28391) - you deserved it (2869)

On 04/19/2015 at 1:09pm - animals - by woof? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML

#21391420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26641) - you deserved it (2860)

On 04/10/2015 at 6:17pm - misc - by dickhead (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

#21386410
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26605) - you deserved it (2857)

On 04/02/2015 at 8:51am - health - by RomanceFail - United States (Kentucky)



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