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July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49106) - you deserved it (4648)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a customer write "fuck you" in the tip option area on his credit card slip, I have no idea why. FML

#21212818
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35051) - you deserved it (4629)

On 07/18/2014 at 11:49am - work - by tuck87 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

#21196146
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44117) - you deserved it (4563)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:54am - intimacy - by unwanted daughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML

#21209155
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35547) - you deserved it (4482)

On 07/14/2014 at 6:48pm - animals - by Hiimhaileypotter (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

#21211312
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37747) - you deserved it (4471)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML

#21196465
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46355) - you deserved it (4462)

On 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I woke up to my dog jumping on my bed and licking me all over. It would've been fine, if I hadn't woken the first time a few minutes earlier to the sight of him going to town on his balls. FML

#21210701
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32978) - you deserved it (4388)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:44am - animals - by ballbreath (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went back to work after a vacation, only to find out I'll soon be forced to dress up as one of the princesses from Frozen to promote our store. FML

#21221108
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30946) - you deserved it (4374)

On 07/26/2014 at 12:29pm - work - by PrincessPromotion (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

#21207995
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52575) - you deserved it (4366)

On 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42770) - you deserved it (4358)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

#21198798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47860) - you deserved it (4337)

On 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I got stood up on a date for three hours. I would have left much earlier but the whole time she had reassured me that she was on her way. And then I saw her tweeting about the pizza rolls she was making at home. FML



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