Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

January 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a yeast infection, caused by the antibiotics for my UTI. I got the UTI after having sex for the first time in a year. A couple of minutes of sex have ruined my health. FML

#21334755
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26478) - you deserved it (3835)

On 01/10/2015 at 10:21pm - health - by so much for romance - United States (New York)

Today, I spent an hour in a snowstorm waiting for my bus to show up. After I got fed up, I decided to just clean off my car and drive to work. After I was halfway finished swiping off the snow and ice stuck to my car, the bus drove right past me. FML

#21332250
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25936) - you deserved it (3796)

On 01/06/2015 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I went to work and said hi to my boss. He reached towards me. I thought he was trying to give me a hug, so I awkwardly hugged him back. Turned out he was just trying to fix my shirt collar. FML

#21334002
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26427) - you deserved it (3764)

On 01/09/2015 at 4:17pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my coworker asked me if I was on a diet for my New Year's resolution. When I said no, she replied, "Why not?" FML

#21331074
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28437) - you deserved it (3760)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:08am - health - by FeelingFatastic - United States

Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML

#21328962
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (3759)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by mrwilly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me he didn't feel attractive. I tried to cheer him up by telling him that I find him very attractive, and so do my friends. He said that didn't matter, because my friends and I aren't attractive either. FML

#21333300
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32626) - you deserved it (3713)

On 01/08/2015 at 1:44pm - love - by licensed_ginger (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend bought a new toaster. It not only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly. It makes me scream in terror every single time. My boyfriend has now vowed to "Toast 'til the end of time." It's going to be a long year. FML

Today, I was sitting at my computer, petting one of my cats, who was sitting on my lap. My other cat got jealous and tried to climb onto my lap as well. They ended up fighting. I was wearing shorts. FML

#21333736
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27247) - you deserved it (3672)

On 01/09/2015 at 1:44am - animals - by Crazy Cat Guy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

#21342658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27168) - you deserved it (3658)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:33am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I moved into my new apartment complex. I left some items including a cherished painting my best friend made for me outside the front door while I moved furniture into my bedroom. When I went back outside, someone had kicked a huge hole in the painting. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

#21332211
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27149) - you deserved it (3645)

On 01/06/2015 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I lost a sewing needle in the carpet. No worries, my big toe found it. FML

#21340022
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29626) - you deserved it (3634)

On 01/19/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by momac86 - United States

Today, my cat had the bright idea of giving birth in the dryer, on top of all my new white towels. FML

#21344486
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17858) - you deserved it (3633)

On 01/26/2015 at 10:21am - animals - by HannaMD - Canada

Today, I asked my boyfriend how he felt about me and he said, "You're the hottest seven I've ever met." FML

#21332358
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29173) - you deserved it (3606)

On 01/06/2015 at 10:54pm - love - by LadyNexus (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: