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March 2015

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Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

#21381329
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (3617)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, because I thought I was about to have an asthma attack, I had a panic attack. Then, the panic attack caused me to have a real asthma attack. FML

#21378889
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26826) - you deserved it (3563)

On 03/21/2015 at 11:14am - health - by pikachu_43 - United States (California)

Today, after a 16-hour work day, I came home to my husband. I talked to him for about 10 minutes, then realized that he wasn't answering me but had his headset on and was talking on Xbox live. Not even playing a game, just talking. FML

#21377531
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28967) - you deserved it (3531)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:35am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to "Get a life. Or better pickup lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

#21377103
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28729) - you deserved it (3511)

On 03/18/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by fuck (man) - Netherlands

Today, I met the perfect guy. He's sweet, funny, charming, a great kisser - the whole package. The downside? He has the same exact name as my father, last name and all. I can't kiss him without thinking of my dad. FML

#21378117
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30961) - you deserved it (3501)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying "My body, my rules." FML

#21379056
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26151) - you deserved it (3469)

On 03/21/2015 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by stoprubbingitinmyface (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my maths class and I had to sit through a slideshow of photos of our teacher's cat. The cat's name is Mr Cat. FML

#21376941
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27299) - you deserved it (3465)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

#21379420
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28474) - you deserved it (3457)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

#21367801
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40512) - you deserved it (3430)

On 03/04/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Highnapple - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing charades with my boyfriend and family. The answer was "Beckoning" so I acted it out with a "come here" gesture. He looked confused for a second, then blurted out "Fingering?" FML

#21378887
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27759) - you deserved it (3378)

On 03/21/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by ajodasdojsad (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

#21371903
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33017) - you deserved it (3376)

On 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

#21366438
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33485) - you deserved it (3316)

On 03/02/2015 at 9:04am - intimacy - by donotbelieveinsecondchances (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

#21381725
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24198) - you deserved it (3297)

On 03/26/2015 at 4:35am - kids - by sexybelly - Australia (New South Wales)



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