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August 2016

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Today, I was, once again, yelled at by multiple tourists because I don't speak their language, even though they could neither speak English or Norwegian. They also yelled at me for not accepting Euros. Norway is not a part of the European Union. FML

Today, I woke up from an erotic fantasy about my boss. Today was also the day he wanted to have a nice long chat about my future with the company. I couldn't even look him in the eye. FML

Today, in an effort to try and get fit, I was doing yoga on my carpet when my foot slipped. It went under my radiator, which peeled the skin off my heel like peeling a potato. FML

by AlexB / 08/19/2016 at 3:01am / United Kingdom (Blackpool) / Health

Today, a man finally was flirting with me in a supermarket checkout lane, even offering to help unload my groceries onto the conveyor. Turns out he was just distracting everyone so his partner in crime could steal $200 from the cash register. I had to give a witness statement to the manager. FML

by lonelyheart4ever / 08/12/2016 at 9:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I was wondering why my cheap and overall great apartment had been available for so long. After some research, it's now pretty clear: my landlord is, apparently, a well-known slumlord. FML

Today, even though I'm overweight, I was feeling alright about the way I looked in the historical costume I'm required to wear by my job. A little kid came in and asked me if I was having a baby. Guess I don't look as good as I thought. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2016 at 2:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I spent nearly seven hours clearing out our storage room in order to transform it into my art studio. Things were going great until I tweaked my back. At least from my stationary position in bed I have a perfect view of the table I can't work at for the next 2 to 4 weeks. FML

by ArtistBlock / 08/17/2016 at 3:54am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, my boyfriend bought me Cards Against Humanity because he thinks it would give me some motivation to make friends since I only have one and need three to play. Sad thing is, he's right. FML

by ellieinc / 08/07/2016 at 11:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I need to get a root canal, the only day I can get an appointment is on the same day I'm flying out for training for my new job. I can't get out of either, so now need to face my fear of flying and fear of dentists the same day. FML

by FlyingPain / 08/05/2016 at 7:16am / United Kingdom / Holidays

Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2016 at 10:26am / Health

Today, I have a huge crush on my best friend who views me as his little sister. My coworker found out and has since been making incest jokes. FML

Today, I walked up to my sister's car to give her some money I owed her. She refused to open the window and take back the money. After begging her to open the window, a passer-by mistook me for a beggar and gave me some loose change. FML

by Marmarfarfar / 08/01/2016 at 1:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2016 at 10:10am / Serbia / Health