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November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, one of the patients on the mental health unit where I work looked me up and down and said; "Well, I guess it's a popular misconception that all fat people are jolly." FML

#21298006
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28953) - you deserved it (3960)

On 11/12/2014 at 9:48pm - work - by thefatnurse - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML

#21296653
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31421) - you deserved it (3921)

On 11/11/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by mouthwash - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

#21290572
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34653) - you deserved it (3873)

On 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

#21303377
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29153) - you deserved it (3872)

On 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm - misc - by Veronica - United States (California)

Today, the Salvation Army stationed one of their obnoxious bell-ringers in the mall right outside my store. My employees and I can wave goodbye to any form of sanity for the next month. FML

#21304339
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22855) - you deserved it (3878)

On 11/23/2014 at 5:03am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I forgot my library book on a bench then I got on a bus, so I got off at the next stop and walked back to get it. I arrived just in time to see some guy pick it up and hop on another bus. So now I'm not on the bus I needed, and I have to pay for the book. FML

#21292812
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25086) - you deserved it (3856)

On 11/05/2014 at 5:02pm - misc - by Loverscry (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I witnessed a hit-and-run. I used my phone to write down the license plate for the police. However, I didn't notice that my phone had autocorrected the number. FML

#21291857
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34763) - you deserved it (3848)

On 11/04/2014 at 9:01am - misc - by fuckshit (man) -

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43158) - you deserved it (3812)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

#21295289
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34361) - you deserved it (3808)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:31am - misc - by analgirl (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

#21303901
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31841) - you deserved it (3779)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Kilkenny)

Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his 10th beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML

#21289623
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30458) - you deserved it (3729)

On 11/01/2014 at 10:26am - misc - by helosthisshit (man) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

#21291260
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33733) - you deserved it (3662)

On 11/03/2014 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Dezzy - United States (Missouri)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML



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