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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my colleague and I played yet another wonderful game of 'Tapeworm or Toilet Paper?' in the homeless shelter's toilets we were asked to clean. FML

#21270023
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29074) - you deserved it (3340)

On 10/03/2014 at 7:29am - work - by whydoidothis (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21359) - you deserved it (3311)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

#21271185
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35798) - you deserved it (3299)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:55am - intimacy - by fucksake (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

#21276185
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30959) - you deserved it (3296)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by KO - United States

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31493) - you deserved it (3282)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML

#21272236
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32331) - you deserved it (3257)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:05pm - misc - by thenewgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

#21276741
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33132) - you deserved it (3198)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:13am - animals - by MissBeyoncé - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML

#21276854
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33650) - you deserved it (3178)

On 10/13/2014 at 11:42am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got the best grade in class on my economics midterm. Rather than tell me I did a good job, my professor criticized me in front of everyone about how I was working "too hard". FML

#21279849
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31742) - you deserved it (3173)

On 10/17/2014 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by katsaysner - United States (Maine)

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

#21274083
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33366) - you deserved it (3170)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:27am - love - by MoRuined (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

#21274403
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28753) - you deserved it (3132)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got back from a weekend at my best friend's house. Apparently, he and his friend invented a new game. It involves sticking duct tape to their pubic hairs, ripping them out, and sticking as many as possible on my face and body before I wake up. FML

#21276742
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (3125)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:17am - misc - by wtfguys - United States

Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML

#21277907
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29001) - you deserved it (3104)

On 10/14/2014 at 8:13pm - misc - by ForeverAlone - United States (South Dakota)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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