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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML

#21276883
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35842) - you deserved it (4036)

On 10/13/2014 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend admitted than he's been using Febreze instead of showering for the past month. FML

Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML

#21270631
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37685) - you deserved it (3873)

On 10/04/2014 at 12:31pm - misc - by runsinthefamily (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML

#21272098
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39286) - you deserved it (3859)

On 10/06/2014 at 3:46pm - love - by kittenfish8903 (woman) - United States

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47073) - you deserved it (3858)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and head butted me. Now there is just an awkward silence. FML

#21270556
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32627) - you deserved it (3855)

On 10/04/2014 at 8:11am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29145) - you deserved it (3840)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got married. It was a beautiful ceremony with all of our family and friends. Too bad it ended with us leaving the reception before dancing even started, since my groom couldn't stop bawling his eyes out from all the stress. FML

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29921) - you deserved it (3791)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake. Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML

#21272259
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37924) - you deserved it (3752)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm - misc - by thanks babe - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34506) - you deserved it (3713)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)



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