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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I missed work for the third time this week. My dog gets lonely when I'm away and has found out how to shut off my alarm clock. FML

#21273263
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33947) - you deserved it (4903)

On 10/08/2014 at 12:21am - animals - by fckUrex - United States (California)

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

#21279154
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33410) - you deserved it (4871)

On 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

#21269125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38756) - you deserved it (4761)

On 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by notatherapist - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29729) - you deserved it (4723)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, a day after being informed that keeping my wallet in my front pocket was "strange", my wallet was stolen from my back pocket. FML

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

#21278162
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39297) - you deserved it (4637)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:27am - misc - by burritobreasts -

Today, as I was laying in bed in my dark room, with only my phone's light on, a huge moth flew around it and directly into my open mouth. FML

#21285341
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27227) - you deserved it (4614)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:47pm - misc - by j_portal - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

#21279374
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35386) - you deserved it (4575)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29255) - you deserved it (4552)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my son was selling pot for pesos. We live in New Jersey and have never planned on going to Mexico. FML

#21268628
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37361) - you deserved it (4549)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:30pm - kids - by Potforapeso (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

#21278160
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33760) - you deserved it (4533)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by datgurllllukno (woman) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32722) - you deserved it (4513)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, I went to a parade. While I was there, I ran into my ex and his new girlfriend. Trying to prove I was over him, I tried to act like I was oblivious to them and having a great time. I turned around, only for a piece of candy to hit me square me in the eye. FML

#21271287
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31597) - you deserved it (4509)

On 10/05/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by HarleyDavison - United States (Missouri)



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Friday 24 October 2014

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