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August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML

#21457909
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26501) - you deserved it (4056)

On 08/19/2015 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. I can't believe I married this neurotic wreck. FML

#21459202
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21784) - you deserved it (4005)

On 08/22/2015 at 5:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after dating the love of my life for a year, my parents refuse to give their blessing for us to be engaged, because he's two years younger than me and "people change as they age." FML

Today, I found out that the motorcycle I paid cash for was an illegal import. My plates are canceled, I have to turn in the bike for it to be destroyed, and the seller has vanished off the face of the planet. FML

#21458311
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23016) - you deserved it (3946)

On 08/20/2015 at 12:48am - misc - by fmymouth (man) - United States (California)

Today, my local USPS delivery man refused to deliver any more packages to my house, because in the past, my dogs have barked at him and he feels threatened. He also filed a complaint about our house because apparently my driveway has branches that, to him, are considered "hazardous." FML

Today, I discovered that my mom bought roll on stick glue that looks quite a bit like deodorant. It was early in the morning and I was groggy. Long story short, I had to cut every one of my pit hairs. FML

#21456333
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18792) - you deserved it (3753)

On 08/15/2015 at 12:50pm - health - by someboody - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to a colleague about love. He told me he's given up on love because things ended badly with a previous girl. I said, "Maybe it wasn't meant to be, and she wasn't the one." He then said the reason it didn't work out was because she killed herself. FML

#21458398
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23803) - you deserved it (3610)

On 08/20/2015 at 8:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I was attacked by a duck. I thought I was higher on the food chain than that. FML

Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML

#21457966
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20966) - you deserved it (3563)

On 08/19/2015 at 8:14am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29179) - you deserved it (3561)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML

#21461561
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20271) - you deserved it (3549)

On 08/28/2015 at 12:40am - misc - by morethanablondemoment - United States (California)

Today, my boss broke off our relationship because he said it's inappropriate. I really liked him, but I accepted it and respected his integrity. A few hours later, I found out he's now dating my colleague. FML

#21460841
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23955) - you deserved it (3535)

On 08/26/2015 at 4:33am - work - by salope (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was forced to watch my 5 year old cousin. In an attempt to get him to sit still for a minute, I challenged him to a thumb wrestling match. It's been 2 hours and he keeps thumb wrestling me. If I stop, he cries. FML



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