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March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

#21378520
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24125) - you deserved it (3785)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:43pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML

#21371880
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3) - you deserved it (3760)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:43pm - kids - by LameChef (man) - Poland

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

#21381725
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27035) - you deserved it (3770)

On 03/26/2015 at 4:35am - kids - by sexybelly - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

#21383517
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14943) - you deserved it (3772)

On 03/29/2015 at 11:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML

#21382482
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23944) - you deserved it (3756)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:09pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)

Today, an old friend of mine landed in Spain, where he's visiting me. After a few minutes talking about where we should meet, we realized the reason he couldn't figure out where it was, was probably due to the fact that he was in Barcelona. I live in Madrid. FML

#21371100
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30733) - you deserved it (3722)

On 03/09/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Spain (Aragon)

Today, because I thought I was about to have an asthma attack, I had a panic attack. Then, the panic attack caused me to have a real asthma attack. FML

#21378889
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27346) - you deserved it (3576)

On 03/21/2015 at 11:14am - health - by pikachu_43 - United States (California)

Today, after a 16-hour work day, I came home to my husband. I talked to him for about 10 minutes, then realized that he wasn't answering me but had his headset on and was talking on Xbox live. Not even playing a game, just talking. FML

#21377531
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29208) - you deserved it (3530)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:35am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

#21379420
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29122) - you deserved it (3518)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to "Get a life. Or better pickup lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

#21377103
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28902) - you deserved it (3516)

On 03/18/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by fuck (man) - Netherlands

Today, I met the perfect guy. He's sweet, funny, charming, a great kisser - the whole package. The downside? He has the same exact name as my father, last name and all. I can't kiss him without thinking of my dad. FML

#21378117
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31323) - you deserved it (3508)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying "My body, my rules." FML

#21379056
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26812) - you deserved it (3505)

On 03/21/2015 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by stoprubbingitinmyface (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

#21367801
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40810) - you deserved it (3440)

On 03/04/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Highnapple - Canada (Ontario)



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