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July 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my step-sister told me that she was getting married to her girlfriend next summer. At a big family brunch, I made a toast to their marriage. I didn't know that my step-mom didn't know they were dating in the first place, or that she was severely homophobic. FML

#21448362
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23910) - you deserved it (3631)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:02am - misc - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up early and took my medication to help me focus while catching up on lectures. I ended up spending the whole day focused on fixing my drawer for no apparent reason. FML

#21440955
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22951) - you deserved it (3588)

On 07/13/2015 at 9:56am - misc - by distracted - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at a restaurant where the host is an attractive guy with only one arm. I was with my family, so I didn't want to be too obvious when checking him out. It seems like I was, though, because he came over and told me it was rude to stare at his arm. FML

#21436059
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23969) - you deserved it (3483)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

#21439786
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25311) - you deserved it (3444)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

#21441958
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25195) - you deserved it (3440)

On 07/15/2015 at 7:15am - animals - by gassy - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

#21443824
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21305) - you deserved it (3362)

On 07/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I heard my skinny 14-year-old daughter tell her friend, "Ugh, I wish I had leukemia or something so that I could lose weight." Yes, she actually said that. FML

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

#21444253
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23165) - you deserved it (3263)

On 07/19/2015 at 11:02pm - health - by Bleach dat Blood (woman) -

Today, my best friend told me he masturbates to my Instagram page. Thanks, I guess. FML

#21442921
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24918) - you deserved it (3257)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:00am - intimacy - by battle1 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

#21435950
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26444) - you deserved it (3245)

On 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me with his boss so he could get a promotion and "provide" for us. This from the guy who made me quit my job because he said he made enough money to support us both. FML

#21438957
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25380) - you deserved it (3231)

On 07/09/2015 at 9:42am - love - by dtack2tack - United States

Today, I sent my long-distance boyfriend a heartfelt message about how much I missed him. He sent me back a picture of a Minion. FML

#21442865
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25143) - you deserved it (3210)

On 07/17/2015 at 3:04am - love - by anon - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally got up the courage to quit my first job. I spent hours determining the most professional way; the method, and the wording I would use. In the middle of the phone call, my manager hung up on me. FML



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