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August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML

#21234002
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38954) - you deserved it (6075)

On 08/10/2014 at 12:42pm - love - by painedandpissed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

#21238533
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37688) - you deserved it (6045)

On 08/15/2014 at 10:16pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37439) - you deserved it (5965)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML

#21232452
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35857) - you deserved it (5939)

On 08/08/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by freakedout (woman) - United States

Today, while talking to my sister, I explained to her that the reason I hope I end up having a girl is I want my daughter to love me the way I "used" to love my own mother. I didn't mean to say it in the past tense. My sister told my mom. She's planning my baby shower. FML

#21229187
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33590) - you deserved it (5938)

On 08/04/2014 at 9:20am - love - by mother to be - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML

#21241143
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41643) - you deserved it (5882)

On 08/19/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by Xbieblette51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my professor told everyone that he thinks all med students should be required to get a catheter and an enema at least once in their lives so they can relate to their patients, saying, "Gentlemen, it might change your lives." FML

#21236595
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33053) - you deserved it (5721)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40198) - you deserved it (5649)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML

#21243162
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35303) - you deserved it (5619)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by lonely loser (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39978) - you deserved it (5598)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34489) - you deserved it (5575)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I proposed to the love of my life by having the waitress place the ring in her dessert. She ate the whole thing and didn't find the ring. I guess the waitress stole the ring. FML

#21233475
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42360) - you deserved it (5568)

On 08/09/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by jakethemuss - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I paid $325 to have the vet tell me that my 19-year-old cat ISN'T dying, she just had anxiety shits because we were gone on vacation for so long. FML

#21231104
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34164) - you deserved it (5549)

On 08/06/2014 at 5:35pm - animals - by chynna (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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