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January 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

#21333219
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32221) - you deserved it (4798)

On 01/08/2015 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I was accused of letting my dog take a shit on the sidewalk and not picking it up. My dog's a chihuahua, and the turd was almost longer than he is. I got fined anyway. FML

#21339093
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28135) - you deserved it (4791) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2015 at 4:12pm - animals - by Titatoum - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML

#21341011
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24502) - you deserved it (4723)

On 01/20/2015 at 3:24pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while on my driving test, the guy told me to pull over and do a U-turn. A few minutes later, he asked me to do another one. After the test, he said I'd failed because the second U-turn was illegal, and I should have refused to comply. I didn't know they're even allowed do that. FML

#21340454
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35109) - you deserved it (4718)

On 01/19/2015 at 6:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was asked by a total stranger if I had Tourettes. This is the third time this has happened to me. FML

#21342680
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24923) - you deserved it (4677)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:39am - misc - by Evra (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend finally played the new guitar I bought to replace the one he broke. He used a $1000 guitar to play me a moving song about my butt. FML

#21328639
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23877) - you deserved it (4652)

On 01/01/2015 at 1:16pm - love - by ButtWorthSingingBout (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32122) - you deserved it (4623)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, like every other day at work, I had to listen to people talk about being addicted to sex. I have to treat people for addiction to something I've never even had. FML

#21337533
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30096) - you deserved it (4579)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:12am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was faced with the inevitable horrible circumstances which lead me to put in a tampon on a moving city bus. FML

#21337228
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30252) - you deserved it (4539)

On 01/14/2015 at 9:18pm - misc - by bloody_hell (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him home. He texted back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I need a drink. FML

#21340989
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30317) - you deserved it (4496)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by fun in functioning, I suppose - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my mom paid me a surprise visit me at my university dorm. She ended up rifling through my stuff and started to pull out a box from on top of my wardrobe. Before I could stop her, it slipped and fell. Today's forecast: 100% chance of dildo rain. FML

#21338507
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31445) - you deserved it (4494)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, returning home from a party, I realised I'd forgotten my keys. My roommate was sleeping so soundly that after an hour of throwing gravel and ringing the doorbell, I had to give up and get a room at the hotel over the road. For €85 I had a view of my room. FML

#21345042
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18524) - you deserved it (4445) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/27/2015 at 6:45am - money - by LadyGrey -

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, I kissed my husband as passionately as I could. After, he looked at me and said, "You taste like Chinese food." FML

#21330815
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25001) - you deserved it (4366)

On 01/04/2015 at 6:14pm - love - by TimJack18 - United States (North Carolina)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

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  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

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