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August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my current boyfriend was so impressed by my blowjob abilities he sent my ex-boyfriend a message saying thanks. FML

#21454601
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25787) - you deserved it (4848)

On 08/11/2015 at 12:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through charades. FML

#21457655
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19213) - you deserved it (4789)

On 08/18/2015 at 4:17pm - love - by I hate games - United States (Missouri)

Today, while I was taking a long relaxing shower, the shower head decided to fly off and hit me in the face. The dentist couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21458540
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18916) - you deserved it (4741)

On 08/20/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by sstahpp (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I let out a huge fart during a job interview. I was the one conducting the interview. FML

#21455368
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19941) - you deserved it (4699)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:18pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML

#21458628
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20599) - you deserved it (4683)

On 08/20/2015 at 9:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up panting and drenched in sweat from a horrible nightmare. I'd been dreaming that bright, colored shapes were falling from the sky and I couldn't make them all neatly align with one another on the ground. I guess I should stop playing so much Tetris before bed. FML

#21453585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20827) - you deserved it (4445)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:56pm - misc - by I love L (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the mall and was persistently asked to try one of the curling irons at a kiosk. I don't like to use heat on my hair, but I reluctantly agreed. The iron burned off a good chunk of hair from the back of my head. FML

Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML

#21453197
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21094) - you deserved it (4225)

On 08/07/2015 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by Gonzales (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I took the lid off my slow cooker to serve up a casserole that had been 12 hours in the making. A cockroach took the opportunity to dive in. My husband and I are now eating toast, while the delicious smell of casserole taunts us from the trash. FML

Today, I came home from a stay at my girlfriend's place. My little brother stepped on my bag and accidentally switched my vibrator on. I told him the buzzing sound was my electric toothbrush. He went to the bathroom and came back with the toothbrush. He won't stop asking what's in my bag. FML

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

#21452187
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22032) - you deserved it (4079)

On 08/05/2015 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was telling my coworker that I was considering quitting the shady, 50-shades-of-scum business we work at. He snitched to our boss, who quickly fired me on bullshit charges of incompetence, theft, and workplace bullying. I guess I'm not getting a good reference from him. FML

#21461238
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14449) - you deserved it (3987)

On 08/27/2015 at 4:37am - work - by Anon (man) - United States

Today, I found out that the motorcycle I paid cash for was an illegal import. My plates are canceled, I have to turn in the bike for it to be destroyed, and the seller has vanished off the face of the planet. FML

#21458311
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22811) - you deserved it (3945)

On 08/20/2015 at 12:48am - misc - by fmymouth (man) - United States (California)



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