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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while waiting for a plane, a man in a wheelchair was struggling to get to baggage, so I helped him. I did so without realising that I passed through the "No Entry" gate. What did I forget? My phone, my ID, and my boarding pass. What do you need to get back to the plane? All of those. FML

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

#21284031
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30236) - you deserved it (5211)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

#21270236
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29065) - you deserved it (5130)

On 10/03/2014 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42254) - you deserved it (5123)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, there was a laundry basket of my clothes sitting in my room. My dad asked me if they were clean or not. When I said I didn't know, he picked up a piece of my clothing, sniffed it, and said it smelled fine. That piece of clothing just so happened to be my underwear. FML

#21285867
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26505) - you deserved it (5135)

On 10/26/2014 at 8:05pm - misc - by socreepedouticanteven - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

#21274726
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33567) - you deserved it (5075)

On 10/10/2014 at 1:52am - love - by Jasmine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street holding my boyfriend's hand, when a seemingly sweet old man said to him, "Hey, you've got to hold her hand properly". I asked him to show me what properly meant. He licked my hand. FML

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39727) - you deserved it (4958)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I received an email from an angry parent, demanding that I give his daughter an A on a project which I had given her a 0 on. The project was to pick an article related to science and to write an essay on it. Hers was a hoax article relating to Ebola patients rising from the dead. FML

#21276337
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34537) - you deserved it (4929)

On 10/12/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML

#21283210
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32772) - you deserved it (4930)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm - misc - by Not so much of a teachers pet - United States

Today, I got roped into a volunteering thing at the last minute. I was waiting outside with all these kids who looked hungry. Feeling bad, I passed around crisps and cookies. Turns out we were at a convention to promote healthy eating in malnourished children. FML

#21274410
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28689) - you deserved it (4916)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I missed work for the third time this week. My dog gets lonely when I'm away and has found out how to shut off my alarm clock. FML

#21273263
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33946) - you deserved it (4903)

On 10/08/2014 at 12:21am - animals - by fckUrex - United States (California)

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36795) - you deserved it (4901)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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