Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked my husband if he could at least try to give me an orgasm. His response? "Um... why?" FML

#21525139
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15205) - you deserved it (1579)

On 02/11/2016 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by not satisfied - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML

#21522623
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19465) - you deserved it (1574)

On 02/03/2016 at 11:59pm - health - by FueledByFate - United States (Arizona)

Today, I finally found out why my graphics card in my PC had been overheating recently. My brother disconnected the card's fan because it was too loud when he was gaming. I guess I can always spend another $750. FML

#21524086
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19897) - you deserved it (1572)

On 02/08/2016 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I worked from home to actually be able to concentrate and make a presentation about my project. My boss then sends me a long email about how he wants us to work in the office, and how important it is for team building, giving me feelings of guilt for actually getting some work done. FML

#21524722
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15095) - you deserved it (1559)

On 02/10/2016 at 6:57am - work - by PhD student (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, while I was taking a shit, a guy went into the next stall and narrated what he was doing in song. I'm still traumatized by his lyrics. FML

#21522585
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19687) - you deserved it (1517)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:13pm - misc - by Lord_Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML

#21524037
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18066) - you deserved it (1516)

On 02/08/2016 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Austria

Today, my dogs somehow pulled the water spigot off the wall in my backyard. I now have my own private lake. FML

#21523045
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17727) - you deserved it (1515)

On 02/05/2016 at 11:07am - misc - by Hreid254 - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

#21522725
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20562) - you deserved it (1501)

On 02/04/2016 at 10:16am - animals - by uninvited (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to my grandma's house to visit. She's an elderly woman, so I asked if there was anything I could do to help. She told me to take the dog out, so I did, but one thing she didn't tell me is that her dog loves to take explosive shits everywhere. FML

#21521987
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17828) - you deserved it (1492)

On 02/02/2016 at 12:37am - animals - by ReiracsNeve - United States (Colorado)

Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML

#21524824
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18184) - you deserved it (1491)

On 02/10/2016 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mailman refused to deliver my mail for an undetermined amount of time, because my 8 year-old, arthritic dog, who can barely walk, "made him feel threatened." FML

Today, the power in my village went out. This caused the back-up battery powered alarm to go off. Nobody in the house even knew our alarm worked, let alone how to make it stop. It's been going off for over an hour now. FML

#21524147
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15562) - you deserved it (1481)

On 02/08/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by James (man) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I heard some gossip at school about a weird kid who supposedly jerks off at every house he visits. They were talking about my brother. FML

#21522719
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20721) - you deserved it (1456)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:53am - intimacy - by concernedsis - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: