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September 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

#21257417
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38585) - you deserved it (4300)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my cat decided to use my bowl of rice krispies as his litter box. FML

Today, I'm moving out of the house. My little sister can't wait and I've never seen my dad so happy. FML

#21253301
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31896) - you deserved it (3884)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:34pm - misc - by Not Wanted - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my sister told me the reason why she went with me to a gay pride parade a few months ago was because she thought it would inspire me to come out. FML

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

#21259205
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26055) - you deserved it (3825)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:31am - kids - by HeIsKindaRightTho (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was punched in the face because my uncontrollable hiccups were "annoying". FML

#21250817
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35208) - you deserved it (3798)

On 09/02/2014 at 10:13pm - health - by soccer8goalie - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML

#21253597
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35720) - you deserved it (3796)

On 09/07/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by goodmorning - United States (Indiana)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22891) - you deserved it (3780)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

#21259449
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31442) - you deserved it (3759)

On 09/16/2014 at 1:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

#21253639
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34308) - you deserved it (3648)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:11am - misc - by imgonnadie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

#21252521
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39921) - you deserved it (3632)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm - love - by apparentlybutch (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46680) - you deserved it (3539)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

#21253167
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36080) - you deserved it (3536)

On 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

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