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December 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

#21317613
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29315) - you deserved it (5158)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:22pm - love - by lonesome - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my commitment issues were perfectly illustrated when I couldn't put a nail in the wall to hang a painting, because, "What if I change my mind?" FML

#21316117
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25593) - you deserved it (5138)

On 12/12/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting on a fence watching a friend play soccer. He accidentally kicked the ball at my face and made me fall off the fence into mud. I laughed it off and got back on the fence. Two seconds later he did the same exact thing. I fell wrong and slammed my face into the fence. Pain. FML

#21315479
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26590) - you deserved it (5089)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:08am - health - by No thanks - United States

Today, I injured my knee during dance class. When it started to feel a little bit better, I tried dancing again. I tripped, fell, and broke my wrist. FML

#21311641
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26525) - you deserved it (5084)

On 12/04/2014 at 8:54pm - health - by dumb dancer - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML

#21316697
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30623) - you deserved it (4996)

On 12/13/2014 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

#21316711
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26892) - you deserved it (4985)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:03am - intimacy - by giantcuntflaps (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

#21309102
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31165) - you deserved it (4978)

On 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by fishtacos (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

#21310320
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27317) - you deserved it (4680)

On 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm - animals - by allykat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss heard a rumor that I was in a relationship with a fellow co-worker. He assured me that inside relationships weren't against any store policy, so I confirmed it. He then fired my boyfriend anyway. FML

#21318814
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28656) - you deserved it (4515)

On 12/16/2014 at 10:31pm - work - by thankssomuch - United States (Maine)

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

#21309848
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32537) - you deserved it (4310)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:40am - intimacy - by justagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

#21313388
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36020) - you deserved it (4304)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:12pm - misc - by pubemilkshake - United States (Utah)

Today, my husband shaved off his beard. Turns out he looks like my ex. FML

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

#21319715
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28245) - you deserved it (4308)

On 12/18/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by peteto818 (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)



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