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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after over six weeks of not getting a single shift at my part time job, I finally went in to meet my new manager. He didn't even know I existed. Apparently my old manager lied and said I quit so they hired someone else. FML

Today, I asked my 5-year-old son how school went today. He sighed and said "Fuck off, dad." I thought kids only became such colossal douchebags in their teens. FML

#21387117
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28822) - you deserved it (5440)

On 04/03/2015 at 5:15pm - kids - by no, YOU raised him (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend told me he traded nude pictures I sent him for a costume piece in an internet game. He told me I should be okay with this, because, "It's a rare piece." FML

#21398399
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28121) - you deserved it (5433)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my internet was out and wasn't due to be fixed until at least Tuesday. I'm a grad student with a lot of online research to do and deadlines to meet, so I desperately bought an expensive and non-returnable portable wifi hub. An hour ago, the internet came back on. FML

#21386971
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26682) - you deserved it (5344)

On 04/03/2015 at 11:08am - work - by WiFucked (woman) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, I was talking with my mother. As we went to say goodbye, she said "I love you". Out of habit of saying I love you to my girlfriend, I said, "Love you too babe". FML

Today, on my day off, I received a call from my boss asking why I wasn't at work yet. After getting dressed and an hour-long train ride later, I got there only to find out that it was an April Fool's prank. I had to take the train back home. FML

#21384991
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26233) - you deserved it (5200)

On 03/31/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML

#21392908
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26035) - you deserved it (5069)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML

#21392914
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27112) - you deserved it (5035)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:40am - health - by gottaflossmoreoften (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

#21392458
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29030) - you deserved it (4982)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I received a terrible grade for an essay I worked really hard on. I had two friends, one being an English major, check it over. However, apparently I "clearly didn't use spellcheck" on this essay just like the last one I submitted to her. FML

#21394988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23440) - you deserved it (4951)

On 04/16/2015 at 11:34pm - work - by shaifox96 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30502) - you deserved it (4844)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house while he was at work, and put on his pants to make some tea. As I took my hot tea and laptop upstairs, the pants slowly started to fall down. I had to keep climbing with my pants around my knees, and shuffle awkwardly past my boyfriend's father. FML

#21399154
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14617) - you deserved it (4815)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by ohpants - Ireland (Cork)



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