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December 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML

#21312092
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35530) - you deserved it (5854)

On 12/05/2014 at 4:13pm - love - by hh - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30483) - you deserved it (5853)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, it's either be alone and miserable, or go on shitty dates and be miserable. I have no other options. FML

Today, I found out that the "IRS scam" that I ignored last week was actually not a scam, and now I have a warrant out for me. FML

#21317643
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28311) - you deserved it (5702)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:50pm - money - by dawg - United States (Florida)

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

#21311570
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35086) - you deserved it (5350)

On 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by aprouddaddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML

#21314000
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31192) - you deserved it (5338)

On 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by #goodbyelife - United States

Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML

#21315641
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25166) - you deserved it (5307)

On 12/11/2014 at 2:55pm - misc - by not laughing anymore - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

#21314442
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31689) - you deserved it (5262)

On 12/09/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27088) - you deserved it (5248)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I finished a painting I'd spent 3 weeks working on for an exhibition. When I came back from lunch, my cat was perched above it on my desk. He looked at me, then down at the painting, then jumped down onto it. He slipped and smeared the wet paint everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

#21317384
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29789) - you deserved it (5191)

On 12/14/2014 at 3:28pm - animals - by I'm Trading Up For A Dog (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, my commitment issues were perfectly illustrated when I couldn't put a nail in the wall to hang a painting, because, "What if I change my mind?" FML

#21316117
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25458) - you deserved it (5121)

On 12/12/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I injured my knee during dance class. When it started to feel a little bit better, I tried dancing again. I tripped, fell, and broke my wrist. FML

#21311641
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26511) - you deserved it (5083)

On 12/04/2014 at 8:54pm - health - by dumb dancer - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

#21317613
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28935) - you deserved it (5091)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:22pm - love - by lonesome - United States (Pennsylvania)



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