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November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML

#21289613
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38740) - you deserved it (6182)

On 11/01/2014 at 10:06am - love - by limegreengiraffe - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend asked me to order take out for him because he gets nervous on phones. I called a chinese restaurant, only to get nervous and hang up. FML

#21300935
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23782) - you deserved it (6189)

On 11/17/2014 at 8:04pm - misc - by phonebaby - United States (Connecticut)

Today, army recruiters came to my school and set up some punching bags to attract potential recruits. I gave it a shot, managing to set the highest score at my school and fracture my wrist at the same time. FML

#21291962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31340) - you deserved it (6104)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after nearly two weeks of being stressed out due to financial issues, I decided to spend my last 4 dollars on stress-relieving body wash. Apparently this particular body wash causes me to break out in hives and now I have no money for rash cream. FML

#21296921
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34345) - you deserved it (6024)

On 11/11/2014 at 12:43pm - money - by killme - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

#21303170
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21249) - you deserved it (5760)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML

#21302766
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23873) - you deserved it (5650)

On 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by fuck fof and die dad (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I looked at my twelve-year-old daughter's test. One of the question was, "When is a good time to worry about your parents?" Her answer was, "When they take selfies, because selfies aren't made for old people." FML

#21292082
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29825) - you deserved it (5571)

On 11/04/2014 at 4:48pm - kids - by The Selfie Parent - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, my boyfriend pretended to be reading braille while touching my chest acne. FML

#21295903
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34261) - you deserved it (5505)

On 11/10/2014 at 12:01am - intimacy - by annababyyyy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out the one good thing about having fat rolls: when someone walks in on you sitting on the toilet, they hide your private parts. FML

#21298459
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26823) - you deserved it (5438)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by HoobidibooFox (woman) - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

#21302094
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26903) - you deserved it (5403)

On 11/19/2014 at 1:44pm - misc - by limpdick9 - United States (California)

Today, I have an Army fitness test. I was worried I'd cramp up during the last mile of the run, so I drank a large amount of water in preparation. I later woke up in the very small barracks that I share with three other people, soaking in a puddle of my own piss. FML

Today, my self-esteem hit rock bottom when I was intimidated by a 10-year-old. I'm 23. FML

#21301556
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24256) - you deserved it (5234)

On 11/18/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boss I'm going to quit, after months of being abused, doing meaningless work, and working late every day. I was soon given so many new projects that I didn't even have time to write my resignation letter. FML

#21291231
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28315) - you deserved it (5026)

On 11/03/2014 at 1:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Poland (Mazowieckie)



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