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September 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend again told me how he wants to have an open relationship. Of course, this means he can do what he likes with anyone, but if I so much as kiss someone else, I'm a cheating slut. FML

#21252587
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41330) - you deserved it (6054)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by onlywantuanyway -

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML

#21258936
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29966) - you deserved it (5799)

On 09/15/2014 at 6:19pm - misc - by lucas_urev - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML

#21252510
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35881) - you deserved it (5662)

On 09/05/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Perdito_Coño (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

#21261532
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23047) - you deserved it (5501)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm - misc - by camerashyguy - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40172) - you deserved it (5262)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42560) - you deserved it (5218)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while my orthodontist was working on my teeth, she made the comment, "Wow! It looks like a murder scene in there!" FML

#21250795
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32037) - you deserved it (4746)

On 09/02/2014 at 9:35pm - health - by Gee... Thanks (man) -

Today, I got more pleasure from itching the bed bug bites from sleeping over at my boyfriend's house than I got from actually sleeping with him. FML

#21255435
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34538) - you deserved it (4721)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:38pm - love - by Itchy Missy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I bought a new beanbag chair. My cat thought it was a great scratcher and I now have thousands of tiny plastic balls around the house. He decided those looked yummy, and now the scent of vomit and plastic is awful. FML

#21251355
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31076) - you deserved it (4680)

On 09/03/2014 at 7:13pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

#21253498
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34844) - you deserved it (4612)

On 09/07/2014 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27363) - you deserved it (4545)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

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