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July 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML

#21446839
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20932) - you deserved it (1458)

On 07/25/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by for fuck's sake, gran (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as always, I have a type of eczema that flares up when I'm stressed out or anxious. And today, the girl I've been in love with for 4 years asked me out on a date. We meet up in a few hours, and right now I look like I have smallpox. FML

#21439553
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24603) - you deserved it (1450)

On 07/10/2015 at 1:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to listen to Lou Bega's 'Mambo Number 5' on constant replay for 3 hours, because my little sister was trying to learn a dance for a recital. It would have been even longer than 3 hours, but she then realized that she was dancing to the wrong song. FML

#21441519
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21963) - you deserved it (1447)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, a guest at the hotel I work at started shouting at me. Apparently the street vendor selling sunglasses outside the hotel sold her a pair of 'genuine' Ray Bans for $5. She wanted me to phone the police because she realized two days later they were fake. FML

#21435445
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23078) - you deserved it (1426)

On 07/02/2015 at 4:25pm - love - by soo -

Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML

#21437872
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23967) - you deserved it (1425)

On 07/07/2015 at 9:26am - misc - by No-Sleep Nellie - United States (Iowa)

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

#21448216
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18534) - you deserved it (1443)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to go to the emergency room in the middle of the night. Even though they know I don't have any money, let alone shoes on my feet, my parents have decided it's far too much trouble to come pick me up because we're on vacation and they want to have fun. FML

#21447671
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18623) - you deserved it (1394)

On 07/26/2015 at 6:47pm - health - by GreatParenting (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I lost out on a job opportunity because the interviewer said my "fake fangs are unprofessional and frankly disturbing". The "fangs" are my real canines, and they have always looked this way. FML

#21446532
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22530) - you deserved it (1382)

On 07/24/2015 at 1:24pm - work - by (-,..,-) (woman) - France

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

#21435026
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22751) - you deserved it (1374)

On 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm - misc - by bleachingmykidsbrains - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

#21448563
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12871) - you deserved it (1369)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm - misc - by Oopsie - United States (Vermont)

Today, I found out why my girlfriend was so excited to get to see me. She finally got to end the relationship she didn't want anymore. FML

Today, the drive-thru lady at Taco Bell broke my debit card and tried to hide it by wrapping it in a receipt. FML

#21447771
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21672) - you deserved it (1229)

On 07/26/2015 at 11:00pm - money - by stonehengeva - United States (Virginia)

Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML

#21448265
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15719) - you deserved it (1115)

On 07/27/2015 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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