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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to a job interview. It would have been fine if I had remembered it was over the phone, and not in person. I drove two hours. FML

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

#21388685
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29820) - you deserved it (8943)

On 04/06/2015 at 3:38pm - love - by rhunter17 -

Today, I found out my car needs an oil change. I had to listen the warning alert beep for over 200 miles. FML

Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML

#21386816
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26031) - you deserved it (7583)

On 04/03/2015 at 12:37am - work - by eaglesmile - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

#21398409
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25001) - you deserved it (7503)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:43am - misc - by almost_a_pro - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year old guy. FML

#21386588
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24441) - you deserved it (7406)

On 04/02/2015 at 3:58pm - misc - by Jordan (man) - Jordan (Al Balqa')

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

#21390086
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26987) - you deserved it (6983)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by righthook - United States

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

#21396178
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25879) - you deserved it (6790)

On 04/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house while he was at work, and put on his pants to make some tea. As I took my hot tea and laptop upstairs, the pants slowly started to fall down. I had to keep climbing with my pants around my knees, and shuffle awkwardly past my boyfriend's father. FML

#21399154
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21256) - you deserved it (6786)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by Bullet4MyChemaMo - Ireland (Cork)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I received several pairs of panties in the mail that I'd ordered online. When I opened the box, I was shocked because every pair was basically huge granny-panties. I was sure none would fit properly, but I tried them on to be sure. They fit perfectly. FML

#21396824
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26660) - you deserved it (6713)

On 04/20/2015 at 1:01pm - love - by fatass - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML

#21399752
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22384) - you deserved it (6556)

On 04/26/2015 at 12:05am - intimacy - by montanadinosaur (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss finally did something nice for me and bought me a coffee. By mistake I poured salt in it. To not be ungrateful, I drank it all in front of her. FML



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