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February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the doctor after being sick for weeks. I found out that I had bronchitis that then progressed to pneumonia. My girlfriend is hearing impaired, and when I can finally get words to come out when I speak, she can't understand them. I'm not sure who I feel more sorry for. FML

#21522623
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15893) - you deserved it (1288)

On 02/03/2016 at 11:59pm - health - by FueledByFate - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad thought it was a great idea to text me and say he decided to put our dog down. I was in the middle of class and still had hours left at school. It's not fun to walk across campus holding back tears. FML

#21522136
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21174) - you deserved it (1277)

On 02/02/2016 at 3:05pm - misc - by wideeyeddays (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend of three years and I went to visit my 85 year-old grandmother at the hospital. While I went to the restroom, she apparently told him about a guy I was seeing on the side. I have no idea who she's talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML

#21521929
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19005) - you deserved it (1269)

On 02/01/2016 at 10:23pm - love - by itsjustemcee - United States

Today, while I was taking a shit, a guy went into the next stall and narrated what he was doing in song. I'm still traumatized by his lyrics. FML

#21522585
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16396) - you deserved it (1253)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:13pm - misc - by Lord_Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML

#21521652
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18131) - you deserved it (1221)

On 02/01/2016 at 1:07am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I tried to explain autism to my classmates. One of them, a professional cunt who's always looking for an excuse to lecture people, accused me of being "ableist" because my explanations weren't accurate, and said I shouldn't explain things I don't understand. I'm actually autistic. FML

#21522371
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19333) - you deserved it (1221)

On 02/03/2016 at 8:33am - health - by Ishikur (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML

#21522391
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17491) - you deserved it (1133)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

#21522725
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15498) - you deserved it (1115)

On 02/04/2016 at 10:16am - animals - by uninvited (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife and I were having sex when she suddenly stopped and said, "I just thought of a great lesson plan idea for my 3rd graders." This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#21522820
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11979) - you deserved it (1136)

On 02/04/2016 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I heard some gossip at school about a weird kid who supposedly jerks off at every house he visits. They were talking about my brother. FML

#21522719
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15371) - you deserved it (1026)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:53am - intimacy - by concernedsis - United States (Georgia)

Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML

#21522878
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12650) - you deserved it (953)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML

#21522996
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8258) - you deserved it (730)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Sgt_Jackrum (woman) - United Kingdom (Sandwell)

Today, in the current company I'm employed by, I have a better chance at gambling my way to the top, as opposed to working my way up. FML

#21523006
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7757) - you deserved it (659)

On 02/05/2016 at 7:04am - money - by ferret702 - United States (Nevada)



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Friday 5 February 2016

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