Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

December 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I felt bad about rarely complimenting my mom about her cooking, so during dinner, I raved about her incredible, creamy, macaroni and cheese. It came from a box. FML

#21312880
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26097) - you deserved it (6989)

On 12/06/2014 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my classmate said I looked better without makeup. Well, her exact words were, "You look like less of a whore without makeup." FML

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

#21314853
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26942) - you deserved it (6659)

On 12/10/2014 at 3:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband sent me a link to an article titled "5 ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage." FML

Today, I was home alone when I heard the carbon-monoxide detector beeping. Panicking, I grabbed my dog, ran out of my house as fast as I could, and waited outside for 3 hours for my mom to get home. Turned out the detector was just out of batteries. FML

#21315834
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25632) - you deserved it (6613)

On 12/11/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

#21316246
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26690) - you deserved it (6616)

On 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm - work - by driven_crazy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found the Christmas candy that I'd hidden a year ago. Turns out I wasn't the only living creature who had found it. FML

#21311642
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (6534)

On 12/04/2014 at 8:56pm - misc - by shugette212 - United States

Today, my neighbor showed me footage of my 7-year-old son spraying his beloved rose garden with weed killer. The whole garden is dead as fuck, and I'm now being taken to small claims court. FML

#21311905
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30415) - you deserved it (6336)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML

#21318557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25961) - you deserved it (6166)

On 12/16/2014 at 2:26pm - misc - by privatebathroomneeded - United States (California)

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

#21310328
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28881) - you deserved it (6131)

On 12/02/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by smiles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML

#21315592
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29078) - you deserved it (6055)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anon - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

#21312925
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29517) - you deserved it (5869)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my Nan passed away. My boyfriend came over to comfort me, things got intimate and we ended up having sex. After he came, he chuckled to himself and said, "That one's for you, Nan". FML



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: