Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

February 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML

#21357102
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38753) - you deserved it (2035)

On 02/16/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I started getting calls from gay men looking for anonymous kinky sex. It turns out that my coworker has been posting my personal information in Craigslist Personals section as a prank. My wife doesn't believe that my coworker is such an asshole. FML

#21348144
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31268) - you deserved it (2018)

On 02/02/2015 at 1:41am - work - by CalledOut (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I threw up on a police officer who was trying to do a random breath test. I wasn't drunk or hungover. I'm pregnant and suffering morning sickness. FML

#21356993
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31739) - you deserved it (2018)

On 02/15/2015 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after 3 years of studying to be a veterinarian, I found out I may not be able to continue. It's not because I'm failing my classes, but because my body has developed an allergy to cats. FML

#21363251
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25977) - you deserved it (2014)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:44am - animals - by cat-astrophic (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while skiing down a steep mountain, a man ran over my skis, causing me to fall and roll down the slope. When I regained my balance, I saw the man had followed me just to say "How graceful" and continue on. FML

#21355416
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26449) - you deserved it (1977)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:31pm - misc - by jostertoaster12 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I T-boned a woman who pulled out of a parking lot right in front of me. According to her, the accident was my fault because she "didn't see" me. FML

Today, I discovered that my male coworker, who coincidentally shares my last name, has been telling everyone we're married. I'm 26; he's 58. FML

#21354774
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29849) - you deserved it (1947)

On 02/12/2015 at 3:14pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiance and his family accused me of being with him only because he's rich, refusing to go ahead with the wedding. I accepted his marriage proposal 4 years ago, when he was penniless and unemployed. FML

#21362501
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35444) - you deserved it (1947)

On 02/24/2015 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, I was off from school because of an extremely bad barking cough. My neighbours called the police because apparently my cough sounds like someone torturing an animal. FML

#21359104
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28486) - you deserved it (1919)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:46am - animals - by Animal cruelty (man) - Australia

Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML

#21350702
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27610) - you deserved it (1901)

On 02/06/2015 at 12:16am - animals - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother called me, telling me how disappointed she was at how I let my room "become such a pigsty." I haven't lived there in three years. FML

#21352213
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28717) - you deserved it (1900)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed our weekly biohazardous waste pickup didn't occur as usual at the surgery center where I work. After calling, the company informed me they were short staffed and couldn't make it out 'til next week. Guess that amputated finger is just going to marinate another week. FML

Today, I was at work copying some papers. The copier is below a shelf with lots of paper and signage, which suddenly flew off the hinge and hit me in the head as well as the copier. My boss ran in, asking, "Is the copier okay?" FML

#21356994
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25252) - you deserved it (1888)

On 02/15/2015 at 10:25pm - work - by LP - United States (Wisconsin)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: