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July 2016

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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over something that happened 5 years ago. We've only been together for 2 years as of this July. FML

by Not his SunShine anymore / 07/10/2016 at 7:04pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, my husband kindly offered to take me on a brewery tour. Turned out the brewery is owned by his ex-girlfriend and there was no tour after all. Just me standing awkwardly for 25 minutes while he chatted to her about her family and stuff they used to do together. FML

by whiskynexttimeplease / 07/07/2016 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Love

Today, my mom called me for dinner by saying, "We're going to eat Steph! I mean we're going to eat COMMA Steph! We're not going to eat you! Ha ha!" She thinks this joke is hilarious and has been doing it to both my dad and me every night since early June. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2016 at 5:02pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom continued her search for a special, super-healthy laundry detergent that she knows makes me break out in hives. FML

by benjamin03 / 07/05/2016 at 12:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was staying over at a friend's house for the weekend while the rest of my family goes to Cuba. Her neighbor started hitting on me. As it turns out, "he" was actually born as a "she", and now I'm apparently a transphobic bitch for not being interested. Two more days to go. FML

by JFC / 07/17/2016 at 3:56pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married. His "crazy ex-wife" is not all that crazy, and is still his wife. FML

by Lifetime Presents: / 07/06/2016 at 7:50am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I went to grab a coffee at a new café in town. While sipping my coffee, I noticed a man staring at me through the window. I thought he was browsing the menu before I looked up mid-sip to him staring at me in the eye, sucking on his finger. FML

by Finn / 07/05/2016 at 2:49am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm sleeping in a hotel with my grandparents for 2 days. They both talked in their sleep and snored for almost 3 hours straight, so I moved into the bathtub in the tiny bathroom to try to get some sleep. Just as I was falling asleep, the showerhead started to leak. Back to square one. FML

by tenhut / 07/01/2016 at 12:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I moved into a new apartment. While moving boxes, I ran into my supervisor from work. Guess who lives across the hall. FML

by Mnm54312 / 07/04/2016 at 3:19am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I was at a rodeo warming up while my mom unnecessarily bragged about my training skills to a client. My horse then threw me into a gate at a full gallop, in front of everyone. That was the first time he'd ever misbehaved. FML

by wellthen / 07/12/2016 at 5:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, is my one day off for the week. My mother in law is visiting, and has decided we need to rearrange my living room. FML

by tiredmomma / 07/21/2016 at 5:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, two people came up to me at school, asking if I'd sell them some of my Adderall. I only just transferred here and have never mentioned my ADHD or the Adderall I take for it to anyone. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2016 at 12:33pm / Health

Today, while I selling merch at a festival, a volunteer lost her toenail. Not only did she immediately show me, but she then took a picture and showed everyone coming up to my station. I lost sales because she wouldn't leave. FML

by grosstoenail / 07/13/2016 at 1:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Work