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August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML

#21456100
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22817) - you deserved it (1808)

On 08/14/2015 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by maybe if i was paid like them i would (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend dyed her hair from blonde to brunette. An hour later, she found one of her blonde hairs on my pillow, and accused me of cheating. FML

#21457265
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26672) - you deserved it (1803)

On 08/17/2015 at 6:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML

#21454240
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21111) - you deserved it (1799)

On 08/10/2015 at 10:32am - misc - by lvegadelgado_6 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to serve an incredibly rude and irrationally angry customer, but I managed to keep my cool. When he finally went to leave with his purchase, I wished him a good day. He whirled around and yelled "I'll have whatever the fuck kind of day I want, bitch!" FML

#21453572
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26330) - you deserved it (1792)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:23pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that it's possible to get hit by a bird while bungee jumping. FML

#21458053
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20570) - you deserved it (1784)

On 08/19/2015 at 1:44pm - misc - by SebastianCT - United States (Florida)

Today, my period started again. I just finished a 17-day period 3 days ago. FML

#21459211
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27750) - you deserved it (1779)

On 08/22/2015 at 6:47am - health - by period pains - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21460636
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22028) - you deserved it (1773)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:46pm - health - by whovian221b (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML

#21460569
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21343) - you deserved it (1761)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:46pm - love - by NocturnalFox (woman) - Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj)

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

#21457997
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34575) - you deserved it (1739)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, my friends told me that I'm not invited to the next trip because I'm a party pooper for not getting drunk and staying out late during our last vacation. I guess they forgot that I spent each night taking care of their drunk asses and stayed sober to be the designated driver. FML

#21454553
79 comments

Today, I expressed my feelings to a guy I've liked for a long time. He basically turned me down because I have the same name as his mom, and dating me would be too weird. FML

#21460185
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20036) - you deserved it (1730)

On 08/24/2015 at 5:56pm - love - by wellthen - United States

Today, my niece started crying because she thought that someday she'll look like me. FML

#21458278
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22552) - you deserved it (1728)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:25pm - kids - by ambiiii - United States (Texas)

Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML

#21456522
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21561) - you deserved it (1721)

On 08/15/2015 at 11:16pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (South Carolina)



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