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July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42194) - you deserved it (3371)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that my best friend has been telling everyone at our workplace that I'm faking my pregnancy for attention. She was at every single one of my ultrasounds. FML

#21203309
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45066) - you deserved it (3344)

On 07/08/2014 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I heard back from a company that I recently interviewed with. They told me I didn't get the job because "it was obvious that I had been coached." I wasn't. Sorry that I actually researched the company unlike the rest of the nit-wit candidates. FML

#21203575
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44105) - you deserved it (3344)

On 07/09/2014 at 1:02am - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49275) - you deserved it (3338)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to fill out my time sheet. Someone had edited it, and now it suddenly ends August 22nd. I think I'm getting fired. FML

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I received was a bill for a piss test I took earlier this year. FML

#21220823
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34274) - you deserved it (3340)

On 07/26/2014 at 12:55am - misc - by birthday girl - United States (Ohio)

Today, a guy told me that I look like Angelina Jolie. Before I could thank him, he continued, "I mean like in the chest area. After the mastectomy, you know?" FML

#21198697
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36989) - you deserved it (3306)

On 07/04/2014 at 5:30pm - misc - by fleatitting fame (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML

#21220355
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41889) - you deserved it (3311)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:16pm - misc - by notadoorman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went into my former workplace. While there, an ex-coworker told me that after I quit, they split my position into two separate jobs. When I worked there, my boss had told me to suck it up whenever I said there was too much work for just one person. FML

#21209204
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43005) - you deserved it (3302)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:52pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

#21217675
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38000) - you deserved it (3267)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

#21195314
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35853) - you deserved it (3234)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I moved fifteen stacks of bricks from our store to a customer's van. After I made all that effort, he decided he didn't like the colour of the bricks after all, and demanded a full refund. FML

#21197488
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43885) - you deserved it (3176)

On 07/03/2014 at 3:49pm - misc - by starflares (man) - Denmark (Centre)

Today, I had this really high fever and my sister decides I'm hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

#21202148
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35965) - you deserved it (3153)

On 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm - health - by egged - Singapore



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  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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