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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got hit by a car. Not a real one, though; my sister thought it would be funny to take her RC car and smash it over my head as hard as she could. FML

Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML

#21397871
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26061) - you deserved it (2019)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:31am - kids - by ireallylikecats - United States

Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini bottom out of the box first, only to find a pubic hair stuck to the hygienic liner. FML

#21390617
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31117) - you deserved it (2016)

On 04/09/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by gross - United States (Michigan)

Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML

#21387066
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26982) - you deserved it (2009)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out the name on my driver's license is incorrect. I don't know what's worse: the fact the government can't even copy a goddamn name correctly, or that it took me three months to notice, when a cop nearly arrested me for carrying a "fake" license. FML

#21399342
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13718) - you deserved it (2008)

On 04/25/2015 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was outside with my two new kittens. A woman came rushing over, saying how glad she was that they were outside. She then started complaining that she had only been able to see them through the windows previously. I have no idea who she is or where she lives. FML

#21389096
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30075) - you deserved it (1998)

On 04/07/2015 at 3:14am - animals - by cat.imakittycat. (woman) - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

#21397916
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26724) - you deserved it (1954)

On 04/22/2015 at 11:44am - work - by cock blocked (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

#21395495
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29626) - you deserved it (1947)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm - health - by khaoslife - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after pulling an all-nighter studying for an exam, I caught the bus to college. On the way there, the bus decided to make sweet love to a taxi, creating a pile-up and a traffic jam. I didn't make it to the exam in time. FML

#21389932
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28451) - you deserved it (1914)

On 04/08/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by rUs7up1d (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, I went into work early so I could get my work all done and leave on time, rather than staying back. The later shift starters had other ideas and called in sick. FML

#21394245
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25499) - you deserved it (1911)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by Devildrake (man) - Australia

Today, at work as a bank teller, an angry customer complained that the payments on his two credit cards had been messed up the previous month, with the wrong amount being credited to each account. I asked if he knew who'd helped him. He said, "Well, it wasn't you - she was younger and prettier!" FML

#21398349
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23529) - you deserved it (1905)

On 04/23/2015 at 5:04am - work - by Old and Ugly (woman) - United States

Today, after getting a pay raise at work after 15 years and pulling a loan for a new house, I went back to work from a two-week paid vacation to find out that I had been fired two weeks ago for "no call, no show". My manager claims he doesn't recall ever signing a paper for my paid vacation. FML

Today, I thought my dad was finally showing interest in the business I started last year when he asked about my next event. Nope, he just wanted to know if I would hire his step-granddaughter. Her first question: "So, I won't have to do any like, real work right?" Gee, thanks Dad. FML

#21393221
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25872) - you deserved it (1890)

On 04/13/2015 at 9:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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