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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

#21395494
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27149) - you deserved it (2167)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:12pm - love - by pandapantsMD (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML

#21388202
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28529) - you deserved it (2166)

On 04/05/2015 at 6:19pm - animals - by :O - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was pulled over by a policeman. He thought I was drunk, after doing the "walk in a straight line" test and the "finger-to-nose" test. It wasn't until after I got a fine that I got it through to him that I have cerebellar ataxia, and that I wasn't drunk. FML

#21387213
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27382) - you deserved it (2138)

On 04/03/2015 at 8:42pm - health - by NotDrunk - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML

#21391103
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30160) - you deserved it (2132)

On 04/10/2015 at 2:28am - work - by jobless - United States (Colorado)

Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML

#21391293
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31395) - you deserved it (2129)

On 04/10/2015 at 2:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking my dog, I opened my mouth to yawn. A wasp took the opportunity to fly into my mouth and announce its presence by stinging my tongue. FML

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to the annual family reunion. The reason? Everyone thinks I'm "creepy" because I'm the only adult who will go out and play with the kids. FML

#21387157
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29016) - you deserved it (2122)

On 04/03/2015 at 7:00pm - misc - by big_bail (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working in the garden, when some fire ants ran up my shorts and bit me on an intimate part of my anatomy. My 4 year old nephew will not stop telling people about my rapid strip tease. FML

Today, while at work, a guy complained about me "touching his fries." At first I thought it was a joke, because he kept smiling, even after I offered him new ones. I realized it wasn't a joke when he threw the fries on the counter. FML

#21386179
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23699) - you deserved it (2095)

On 04/01/2015 at 10:04pm - work - by QueenCee - United States (California)

Today, I got an expensive return bus ticket to visit my family 200 miles away. I accidentally tore the ticket when taking it from the machine, but the driver said not to worry, as it would still be accepted on the way back. Guess who's still 200 miles from home. FML

#21386064
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25413) - you deserved it (2084)

On 04/01/2015 at 7:24pm - misc - by dumbbus - United Kingdom (Stockton-on-Tees)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37952) - you deserved it (2084)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I stopped to replace a stuffed bear that had fallen from a small memorial for a girl killed nearby. Her mom happened to walk by and thought I was stealing it. She hit me with her purse. FML

#21388908
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30563) - you deserved it (2075)

On 04/06/2015 at 9:51pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to it raining. My area really needs it, so it's great. I didn't expect to wake up to a hole in the roof though. FML



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