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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my little sister came up to me holding up my phone. It wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't dropped it in the toilet first. FML

Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML

#21414219
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23924) - you deserved it (2337)

On 05/22/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by Kurda (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a text saying I was "banned" from a volunteer group by the vice chair. Why? Because him dumping me the night before and leaving me in the bar alone drunk and crying wasn't enough for him, apparently. FML

#21410356
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28177) - you deserved it (2335)

On 05/15/2015 at 1:40am - love - by bluestripedsockm - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

#21409473
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31197) - you deserved it (2333)

On 05/13/2015 at 1:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML

#21417560
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18764) - you deserved it (2307)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:05am - love - by GlueAndCarrots - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of my idiot co-workers thought it'd be hilarious to "fix" my car while I was working. Now every time I step on the brake pedal, the horn goes off. FML

#21412007
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28111) - you deserved it (2298)

On 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML

#21416018
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24135) - you deserved it (2288)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:12am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML

#21411283
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29184) - you deserved it (2266)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML

#21403907
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29461) - you deserved it (2252)

On 05/03/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by umyuck - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boss told me I ask too many questions and that's why they cut my hours in half. Officially, I'm a "Pharmacy Technician in Training", which means I'm trying to teach myself how to do the job without killing someone. All from on the job experience and an outdated textbook. FML

#21402730
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27804) - you deserved it (2251)

On 05/01/2015 at 2:12am - work - by PharmSlave (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML

#21406350
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29695) - you deserved it (2248)

On 05/07/2015 at 6:22pm - love - by alaina2001 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML

#21414914
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (2239)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:56am - misc - by Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML

#21414880
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25195) - you deserved it (2212)

On 05/24/2015 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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