Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48878) - you deserved it (3288)
On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47855) - you deserved it (3285)
On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33376) - you deserved it (3268)
On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41739) - you deserved it (3251)
On 05/12/2013 at 1:20am - health - by those_allergies - United States (Oregon)
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40914) - you deserved it (3256)
On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -
Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36046) - you deserved it (3241)
On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 7 years with another woman. He panicked and blamed it on the "long distance" and how we "never see each other". We've lived in the same neighbourhood since we were 5 years old, and we've lived together for the past four years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55502) - you deserved it (3237)
On 05/08/2013 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by lalalaisling - Ireland (Cork)
Today, I received a notice that if I don't move the abandoned vehicle from outside my house it will be repossessed at my expense. My car isn't abandoned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34234) - you deserved it (3226)
On 05/14/2013 at 1:29am - misc - by CrappyCar (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42516) - you deserved it (3189)
On 05/15/2013 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37885) - you deserved it (3168)
On 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by well okay then - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50023) - you deserved it (3137)
On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42682) - you deserved it (3115)
On 05/10/2013 at 3:01pm - love - by paintfarts1976 (woman) - Ireland (Westmeath)
Today, my daughter posted a beautiful, touching status on my Facebook wall for Mother's Day. It wasn't so touching that she'd just copied and pasted the one I wrote for her grandmother and sent it back to me, unedited. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36919) - you deserved it (3114)
On 05/12/2013 at 1:21pm - love - by mothers (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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