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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I showed up to work and my boss was nowhere to be found. A phone call later, I find out he's in Dubai. Oh, and since I'm his personal assistant, I should be able to take care of matters until he gets back. I've only been his assistant for a week. FML

#21281510
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27985) - you deserved it (2028)

On 10/20/2014 at 12:53am - work - by are you kidding me - United States (Kansas)

Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML

#21281417
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25897) - you deserved it (2024)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:00pm - animals - by Why Me - United States (Indiana)

Today, the kids on my cross country team were planning a big surprise party for one of the girls, whose birthday is in a few weeks. It's my birthday today. FML

#21281118
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28057) - you deserved it (2009)

On 10/19/2014 at 2:19pm - misc - by forgotten (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents told me off for reading, as opposed to watching TV like the rest of the family, because it was "anti-social". FML

#21282362
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26650) - you deserved it (1957)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I tried to download some network-monitoring software for the office as I suspect that one of my staff has been constantly downloading torrents. It wouldn't download because someone was using all the bandwidth. FML

#21282944
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20556) - you deserved it (1947)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:09am - work - by Thewatcher (man) - Mauritius

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25822) - you deserved it (1798)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML

#21283210
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10054) - you deserved it (1387)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm - misc - by Not so much of a teachers pet - United States

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

#21283230
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8026) - you deserved it (1000)

On 10/22/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by CJune24 (woman) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML

#21283412
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5067) - you deserved it (449)

On 10/22/2014 at 9:33pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

#21283288
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5771) - you deserved it (398)

On 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by BadLuckLad (man) - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1102) - you deserved it (302)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)

Today, my younger brother helpfully pointed out that I'm the only one in my family of five who is single. He's twelve. FML

#21283583
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1062) - you deserved it (89)

On 10/23/2014 at 1:18am - love - by 20singleandproudish (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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