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August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my elderly mother explained that, "I don't need my glasses to drive, I just need them to see." FML

#21228755
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35003) - you deserved it (2497)

On 08/03/2014 at 8:47pm - misc - by scared - Canada

Today, I picked up an extra shift at the store. It was also the day the store's ventilation system shut down, resulting in carbon monoxide poisoning for me and two co-workers. FML

#21230314
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37364) - you deserved it (2490)

On 08/05/2014 at 6:44pm - work - by cutthroatkait (woman) - United States

Today, I'm getting married. I have a big poofy white dress and, oh yes, the shits. Here's hoping I can make it down the aisle without rushing off to the toilet. FML

#21241662
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33499) - you deserved it (2472)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:01pm - love - by ithinkicanmakeit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32533) - you deserved it (2430)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML

Today, at work in a library, I found a dirty diaper stuffed under one of the public use computer desks. Not only was it leaking, but it had been run over several times by a rolling office chair. I had to clean it up. FML

#21231175
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36543) - you deserved it (2299)

On 08/06/2014 at 7:33pm - work - by TzarErik (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 24-year-old, unemployed brother stole all of my food money and went out with his friends. His punishment from our parents? He has to pay me back when he gets a job. My stomach has to wait. FML

#21241750
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33816) - you deserved it (2288)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:59pm - money - by HungryStudent (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

#21242612
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22460) - you deserved it (2068)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by ReluctantAntEater (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend sent me pictures of him and his family on their trip in Florida. He accidentally included a picture of a random girl sleeping in his bed, naked. FML

#21242918
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30615) - you deserved it (2052)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:02am - love - by lolatmylife - United States

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

#21242552
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28611) - you deserved it (1865)

On 08/21/2014 at 3:30pm - misc - by stepshart - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML

#21243162
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11825) - you deserved it (1840)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by lonely loser (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was excited to receive a rejection letter, because this was the first company to even acknowledge that I sent them a resume. FML

#21243040
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25229) - you deserved it (1718)

On 08/22/2014 at 9:14am - work - by Beeky (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML

#21242846
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26929) - you deserved it (1668)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:09am - misc - by up to no-good... - United States (New Mexico)



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