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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandmother yelled at me for driving erratically. I was "driving" in a video game. FML

Today, I found out why my husband has been coming home from work so late. Turns out he loves to help people. Specifically female people. And by help, I mean sleep with. FML

#21403935
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32760) - you deserved it (2468)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by I pick em' good - United States

Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML

#21417508
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15174) - you deserved it (2409)

On 05/29/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Great (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31698) - you deserved it (2366)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

#21406874
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29114) - you deserved it (2358)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

#21403286
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28559) - you deserved it (2356)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML

#21410715
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27538) - you deserved it (2354)

On 05/15/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my little sister came up to me holding up my phone. It wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't dropped it in the toilet first. FML

Today, I got screamed at to the point of tears by a Starbucks employee for "giving an obviously fake name" to confuse one of the employees. I told her my real name. My name is Ian. FML

#21404461
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31894) - you deserved it (2346)

On 05/04/2015 at 12:28pm - misc - by to_complicated_4_u - United States (New York)

Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML

#21414219
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23816) - you deserved it (2336)

On 05/22/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by Kurda (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a text saying I was "banned" from a volunteer group by the vice chair. Why? Because him dumping me the night before and leaving me in the bar alone drunk and crying wasn't enough for him, apparently. FML

#21410356
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28161) - you deserved it (2335)

On 05/15/2015 at 1:40am - love - by bluestripedsockm - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

#21409473
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31195) - you deserved it (2333)

On 05/13/2015 at 1:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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