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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

#21106030
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42444) - you deserved it (2576)

On 04/06/2014 at 3:37pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I borrowed my friend's car to go deliver a tent I sold online. His possessive girlfriend tailed me, not knowing I was driving. She then rear-ended me when I stopped, thinking I was her man, and was cheating. When she realized the situation, she accused me of hiding him. FML

Today, a customer threw his hot coffee all over me, because it was taking "too long" for their credit card to be approved. FML

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

#21110479
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42973) - you deserved it (2472)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa

Today, my teacher used an online program and accused me of plagiarism. According to the program, I plagiarized my own last name. FML

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
92 comments

Today, my neighbor yelled at me because, according to him, the sound of me scraping the ice off my windshield wakes him up every morning. This is the same neighbor who ran over my mailbox last week because there was too much snow on his windows to see properly. FML

#21101388
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37434) - you deserved it (2357)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:03pm - misc - by IcyWindows - United States (Utah)

Today, my biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone and used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

#21119838
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28411) - you deserved it (2278)

On 04/22/2014 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML

#21121576
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12851) - you deserved it (2064) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/24/2014 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonyme - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML

#21121256
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13434) - you deserved it (1946)

On 04/23/2014 at 10:21pm - misc - by Quackadoodledoo (man) - United Kingdom (Barnet)

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

#21120676
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28519) - you deserved it (1882)

On 04/23/2014 at 8:43am - misc - by Almost_Homeless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML

#21121714
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4681) - you deserved it (447)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:32am - work - by me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from 3rd grade and figured out how to play the highest pitch note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of ibuprofen. FML

#21121712
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4053) - you deserved it (459)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:28am - kids - by missmom83 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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