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January 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML

#21342099
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29499) - you deserved it (2532)

On 01/22/2015 at 4:02am - health - by shifala (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

#21342258
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24196) - you deserved it (2471)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

#21331631
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36077) - you deserved it (2455)

On 01/05/2015 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by innocent (woman) - United States

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

#21333944
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39034) - you deserved it (2449)

On 01/09/2015 at 2:04pm - love - by je suis christy - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was in the car with my 4-year-old sister and our puppy. Suddenly, she blurted out from the backseat, "I don't love you anymore." Shocked, I asked her to repeat herself. She looked me straight in the eye and said, "The puppy doesn't love you either." FML

#21334677
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28654) - you deserved it (2435)

On 01/10/2015 at 7:15pm - kids - by SadSister:( - United States

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

#21333313
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36176) - you deserved it (2432)

On 01/08/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I confronted my wife because I thought the many hours a day she spends at a local coffee shop were so she could smoke. Turns out she's cheating on me. FML

#21337071
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32306) - you deserved it (2417)

On 01/14/2015 at 4:48pm - love - by SouthPaw (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being insecure and feeling threatened by the fact that she has a daughter from a previous relationship. She's vaguely right; I feel threatened, but mainly because the psycho keeps threatening to stab me to death when her mom isn't around to hear. FML

#21334989
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31455) - you deserved it (2392)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:03am - kids - by StabStab (man) - Belgium

Today, my sister compared me handling the news of recently being told that I have a devastating and very possibly fatal autoimmune disease, to that of a teenager being melodramatic. FML

#21329069
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32742) - you deserved it (2391)

On 01/02/2015 at 12:37am - health - by Sisterly Love - United States (Michigan)

Today, my step-dad explained to me why he doesn't need to wash his body. He condescendingly said, "Well when you shampoo your hair, the soap runs down your body and cleans everything." He's 37 years old. FML

#21329998
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29014) - you deserved it (2382)

On 01/03/2015 at 4:16pm - health - by Chicagoillinois (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister and I got stuck in an airport elevator. We were separated from our friends, missed our flight and had to walk two hours to find our gate. On the bright side, we ended up having a pleasant talk with an Air Marshal on why we were "stalking people". FML

#21333074
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28712) - you deserved it (2373)

On 01/08/2015 at 12:24am - misc - by random - United States (Colorado)

Today, I handed my boss my 2 weeks' notice. 20 minutes later, I was doing my work alone in the very cold basement of the building. My boss claimed it was a routine relocation planned months in advance. It's going to be a long 2 weeks. FML

#21341091
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27197) - you deserved it (2351)

On 01/20/2015 at 5:52pm - work - by M. Night Shytefuck (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

#21340122
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34822) - you deserved it (2346)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia



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Thursday 22 January 2015

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