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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my family checked into a hotel for spring break. The first thing my brother did was steal all the bars of soap and bottles of shampoo. He's now guarding them, and hissing at anyone that tries to take them. I just want to take a shower. FML

#21392089
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26678) - you deserved it (2491)

On 04/11/2015 at 11:05pm - kids - by ShampooThief - United States

Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML

#21397382
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27893) - you deserved it (2491)

On 04/21/2015 at 11:40am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML

#21386448
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27668) - you deserved it (2487)

On 04/02/2015 at 10:21am - misc - by King.Dick. (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

#21391716
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33365) - you deserved it (2488)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:12am - animals - by Crappy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that turkeys can fly. I also found out how much a new windshield costs. FML

#21392388
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29276) - you deserved it (2465)

On 04/12/2015 at 2:29pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I got into an argument with my racist brother after he opened his god damn stupid mouth in front of my girlfriend. He actually tried to convince me that he's not a racist, because one of his favorite types of porn is black girls getting fucked by white guys. FML

#21395531
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28638) - you deserved it (2463)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:57am - misc - by assault and imnotracistbuttery (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

#21392323
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28197) - you deserved it (2450)

On 04/12/2015 at 11:42am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, my supervisor forced me to bring the image of a failed simulation to the group meeting, because he thought it looked funny. So did the others and it's now going on our webpage. I have to provide a scientific description of how I made a mistake in my code. FML

#21393415
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23680) - you deserved it (2446)

On 04/14/2015 at 7:50am - work - by OptMouse (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

#21394708
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29688) - you deserved it (2441)

On 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm - kids - by klutz44 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML

#21398482
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31674) - you deserved it (2444)

On 04/23/2015 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad woke me up at 5am saying that there was dog shit on the carpet. I thought it was just a clever ruse to get me into the living room for a birthday surprise. It wasn't. There really was dog shit that I had to clean up, with no "Happy birthday"s even uttered. FML

#21397338
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29216) - you deserved it (2408)

On 04/21/2015 at 8:51am - animals - by 21ShitCleaner - United States (California)

Today, my 13-year-old sister told me that she wants to get pregnant soon to stop her periods for a while. I can't believe we're related. FML

#21393492
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30838) - you deserved it (2405)

On 04/14/2015 at 11:49am - health - by TheGoodSister - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was trying to make a good impression with my fiancé's friends. After a few hours, I thought all was going well. As I walked to the washroom, I heard, "So what disability does she have? No one can be like that without something wrong in their brain." FML

#21395050
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28567) - you deserved it (2399)

On 04/17/2015 at 2:24am - love - by apparently_disabled - Canada (British Columbia)



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