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November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend became a magician. His best trick? The disappearing act. FML

#21292946
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30161) - you deserved it (3353)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:11pm - love - by highheelcyanide (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss announced he is coming with us. FML

#21303728
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27446) - you deserved it (3334)

On 11/22/2014 at 5:16am - work - by Carnage23 (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28811) - you deserved it (3316)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, my ex sent me a pack of beer to screw with me. I'm still going to AA, and I thought I was almost over it. Five bottles later, I realized I'm not. We didn't break up over my drinking, either; it was because after just 2 weeks of dating, she threatened to kill herself if I didn't marry her. FML

#21292603
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33885) - you deserved it (3300)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:57am - health - by AAnonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

#21300331
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31271) - you deserved it (3293)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by no - United States

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31236) - you deserved it (3280)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

#21302690
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29856) - you deserved it (3258)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:20am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I spent 20 minutes arguing with the class dipshit, trying to convince her that wifi hot-spots are not in fact saunas powered by wifi. FML

#21302021
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27954) - you deserved it (3250)

On 11/19/2014 at 10:09am - misc - by Donutsarelife - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML

#21295236
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32930) - you deserved it (3212)

On 11/09/2014 at 3:37am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29221) - you deserved it (3214)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32969) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

#21293904
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36963) - you deserved it (3173)

On 11/07/2014 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my wife and I had an argument serious enough to end our marriage, while overseas on vacation, with my whole family present. Three more days of awkward tension until we get to fly home and it all ends. FML

#21298977
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30984) - you deserved it (3171)

On 11/14/2014 at 2:09pm - love - by overseasbummer - Ireland (Dublin)



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