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September 2016

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Today, my boyfriend stood me up. At dinner with his parents. FML

by notmyfam / 09/09/2016 at 3:47am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I spent a ridiculous amount of time working and reworking a design for a client. Eight hours and many tears later, she sends an email saying, "Let's go with the first design. I liked that one the most." FML

by averagemom4days / 09/06/2016 at 10:45pm / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, I asked an elderly customer at my work if she needed help with her groceries. She responded, "I normally would, but I'm afraid you'll eat all the groceries." FML

by Fat and Embarrassed / 09/25/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML

by TexasGirl24 / 09/10/2016 at 8:51am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, at the hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2016 at 9:36am / Estonia (Tartumaa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had the most Chicago experience ever. While I was eating my delicious, deep dish pizza, someone was ripping the rims off my car 15 feet away. FML

by dudewheresmywheelschicago / 09/20/2016 at 1:14am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I got a bill from my former attorney for the call he made to me begging me not to turn him in for stealing all my money and almost causing me lose my home. FML

by swee t / 09/21/2016 at 3:02pm / United States (North Carolina) / Money

Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML

by gothchick201013 / 09/09/2016 at 2:43pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, my best friend texted me and told me she broke up with her boyfriend. Trying to be supportive, I sent a long message about how he never deserved her and that I was there for her if she needed someone to vent to. She replied, "Are you high?" FML

by indefiniteforest / 09/10/2016 at 12:11am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, after not hanging out with anyone the whole year, a guy finally asked me to go the movies with him. When I asked what time, he said, "Never mind, I found another girl." FML

by Just Lonely / 09/04/2016 at 1:04am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my stupid coworker informed the managers that there were no more kids' menus downstairs. Trusting her word, they ordered 3 full boxes. She then asked me where we kept them. We now have 12,000 kids menus to fold. FML

by Lissa / 09/13/2016 at 8:00pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my colon got perforated during a routine colonoscopy. Apparently, it's a rare complication and I have no legal recourse. So now I'll need to use a colostomy bag for the next 6 months until I can get surgery to fix their mistake. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2016 at 1:52am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I just got my windshield fixed due to a rock hitting it off the highway. Just one hour later on my way home, a large stick flew off the back of a landscaping truck. My windshield is cracked again. FML.

by Anonymous / 09/07/2016 at 11:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation