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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was working in the garden, when some fire ants ran up my shorts and bit me on an intimate part of my anatomy. My 4 year old nephew will not stop telling people about my rapid strip tease. FML

Today, I got an expensive return bus ticket to visit my family 200 miles away. I accidentally tore the ticket when taking it from the machine, but the driver said not to worry, as it would still be accepted on the way back. Guess who's still 200 miles from home. FML

#21386064
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25346) - you deserved it (2082)

On 04/01/2015 at 7:24pm - misc - by dumbbus - United Kingdom (Stockton-on-Tees)

Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

#21394708
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25012) - you deserved it (2087)

On 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm - kids - by klutz44 - United States (Illinois)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36989) - you deserved it (2078)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I stopped to replace a stuffed bear that had fallen from a small memorial for a girl killed nearby. Her mom happened to walk by and thought I was stealing it. She hit me with her purse. FML

#21388908
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30166) - you deserved it (2072)

On 04/06/2015 at 9:51pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to it raining. My area really needs it, so it's great. I didn't expect to wake up to a hole in the roof though. FML

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonalds but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML

#21393641
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25601) - you deserved it (2064)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:17pm - kids - by Pandistoteles - United States

Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML

#21385728
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27663) - you deserved it (2042)

On 04/01/2015 at 1:56pm - misc - by megan - United States (Florida)

Today, someone lost a support beam on the highway. My car found it. FML

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML

#21395300
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17556) - you deserved it (2043)

On 04/17/2015 at 4:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after a discussion, my boyfriend said, "I think it's time you found somebody better." After I gave him a look, he continued, "For me." FML

#21394512
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23378) - you deserved it (2035)

On 04/16/2015 at 3:59am - love - by Marona (woman) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Today, I got hit by a car. Not a real one, though; my sister thought it would be funny to take her RC car and smash it over my head as hard as she could. FML

Today, my 16 year old daughter convinced her little sister that I am a robot. Now every time I try to talk to her she starts crying. FML

#21392253
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25817) - you deserved it (2027)

On 04/12/2015 at 6:33am - kids - by anon - United States (California)



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