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August 2016

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Today, a customer made a huge scene at work because all of our reading glasses are made in China, and apparently any "moral" person should be repulsed by that. FML

by idiocy Trumps reason / 08/10/2016 at 11:32am / United States (Kansas) / Work

Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2016 at 2:01pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, my straight, white, Christian stepmother greeted my black friend with, "Hey my n****a". He hasn't talked to me since. FML

by why mom / 08/02/2016 at 7:52pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend asked if car oil could be used as a substitute for lube. I need new friends. FML

Today, I sat down for class. The second I sat down, the guy next to me stood up and moved all the way to the other side of the class. FML

by MrLonelyHertz / 08/24/2016 at 7:41pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my husband peeing on the floor. He managed to pee in two open clothes drawers and on the pants I was going to wear to work tomorrow. Before I left earlier he promised he wouldn't get smashed tonight. FML

by PeeEverywhere / 08/11/2016 at 1:48am / Love

Today, while at the public swimming pool, I gave my 2-year-old daughter a piggy back ride in the pool. We were having fun until I realized she had untied my swim top. FML

by geli / 08/08/2016 at 8:12pm / Kids

Today, I finally matched with someone on Tinder after using it for a month. I sent a message and they unmatched. FML

by Singleforever / 08/08/2016 at 8:40am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, a pharmacist slut-shamed me for taking birth control. I'm still a virgin, and I only take those pills to help with my acne and period cramps. FML

by CyberPsycho / 08/19/2016 at 4:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend showed me his need for speed. It was amazing, except he showed it to me with my new car while running away from the cops. FML

Today, my ex-husband introduced our daughter to her "new mommy". That's the third time this year. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2016 at 12:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I went to my first job interview. I didn't think I was doing too badly, until the interviewer said, "Wait a second, you're in high school?" I explained that the guy who'd called me had said that this wouldn't be a problem. I then watched as my interviewer left his desk to "deal" with him. FML

by DeepFriedZombie / 08/08/2016 at 8:18pm / Work

Today, I was awoken by my grandparents making love, as they shook the camper in which my cousin and I were sleeping. FML

by Scared4Lf / 08/19/2016 at 2:10pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy