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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband bitched me out for going to the toilet after we had sex. He thinks it's my way of not getting pregnant and from now on, I can't go to the toilet for at least 2 hours after sex. FML

#21117730
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27360) - you deserved it (2907)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by allaturca (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

#21108356
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40399) - you deserved it (2841)

On 04/09/2014 at 8:37am - misc - by not_this_shit_again (man) - Singapore

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML

#21110397
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36672) - you deserved it (2817)

On 04/11/2014 at 4:07pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML

#21116561
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28439) - you deserved it (2779)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

#21105340
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38732) - you deserved it (2754)

On 04/05/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, I was being shown how to use a nail gun while applying for a job at a construction company. The instructor shot me in the arm with it. I didn't even get the job. FML

#21107174
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42197) - you deserved it (2748)

On 04/07/2014 at 10:13pm - work - by watch_corn_dance - United States (Illinois)

Today, I graduated from Basic Training. I was really looking forward to seeing my family after being away for almost three months. They decided not to come to graduation because they didn't want to spend the money to travel here. They live 30 minutes away. FML

#21108820
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45422) - you deserved it (2745)

On 04/09/2014 at 7:47pm - money - by CheapFamily - United States

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

#21104594
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36224) - you deserved it (2721)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by fuck you with a bacon cock (man) - United Kingdom (Moray)

Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML

#21106207
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40541) - you deserved it (2703)

On 04/06/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML

#21110549
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37175) - you deserved it (2655)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

#21115731
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30351) - you deserved it (2678)

On 04/17/2014 at 7:24pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

#21110643
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39595) - you deserved it (2608)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my coworkers continued their new favorite game: staring at me in total unnerving silence. I can't help but be reminded of serial killers. FML

#21103796
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29903) - you deserved it (2575)

On 04/03/2014 at 4:53pm - work - by Welshite - United States



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