Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

December 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while fasting for a medical test, my blood sugar became so low that I had heart palpitations and passed out. My doctor's advice? Fast, so he can run more tests. FML

#21314271
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28343) - you deserved it (2384)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:39am - health - by fucking moron (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend sent Christmas Carollers to my house to tell me he was breaking up with me. FML

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29699) - you deserved it (2397)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while working in a restaurant, a woman told me I was completely incompetent, was the worst hostess she'd ever seen, and that she would call my district manager non-stop until I was fired. I'd clocked in less than 10 minutes before and hadn't said a single word to her. FML

Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML

#21313391
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31154) - you deserved it (2367)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:18pm - misc - by Haitwun (man) - United States (California)

Today, my cat let out the biggest moan I have ever heard, while we were both in the living room. My dad heard and accused me of watching porn. FML

#21317874
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27354) - you deserved it (2322)

On 12/15/2014 at 11:07am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my dad texted me saying he had "big news." I immediately called, thrilled, because I assumed he meant that he finally found a job and that our money troubles were over. The "big news" was him being excited at seeing an actor from one TV show he likes in another TV show. FML

#21311807
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27727) - you deserved it (2296)

On 12/05/2014 at 1:17am - money - by still poor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home to find out my roommate sold my PS4, because, "You don't use it anymore." FML

#21316533
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30746) - you deserved it (2279)

On 12/13/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I performed the Heimlich maneuver on a man. He cussed me out because the piece of food he was choking on was "a perfectly good portion of lobster". FML

Today, I found out I have sodium fluoride poisoning. Apparently, my water has a high level of sodium fluorine. I've been drinking much more water lately trying to be healthier. FML

#21313951
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29074) - you deserved it (2265)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:23pm - health - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I ate at Subway during my lunch hour. A group of teenage girls sat down at the table next to mine. They all shared good laugh about the "friendless, chubby chick" sitting near them, while attempting to discreetly point at me. FML

#21317606
126 comments

Today, I took my Spanish exam. One of the questions was to translate "Mark is lazy and antisocial." My name is Mark. Everyone kept giving me weird looks the whole test. FML

#21316211
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (2247)

On 12/12/2014 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents decided to finally kick me out of the house because they've gotten tired of seeing me "sleep around all day and being so lazy" whenever I'm home. I'm currently triple-shifting for 6 days a week. FML

#21317150
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29440) - you deserved it (2234)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:50am - work - by wallamanut (man) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: