Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized how cheap I am when I blacked out at a water park and some one yelled "Call 911!" I tried to mutter out "No, that's too expensive!" FML

#21456805
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14658) - you deserved it (13878)

On 08/16/2015 at 6:14pm - health - by extremereviews - United States (Texas)

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

#21459438
162 comments

Today, a homeless man asked me for some change. Not having any cash, I gave him a gift card for the restaurant I work at. When I got home I realized I gave him my credit card. FML

Today, at my sister's wedding, I got my 15 month old son to 'sign' the big guest book. I gave him a pen and was hoping for a cute little squiggle or something. But no, he managed to draw something that looked uncannily like a big swastika. FML

#21459659
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12693) - you deserved it (12240)

On 08/23/2015 at 12:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a woman at the retirement home I work at told me she was new and asked me a few questions. I asked her when she moved in. She was a new coworker, not a new resident. FML

#21457683
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13180) - you deserved it (11877)

On 08/18/2015 at 5:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend is so ashamed of me that when someone asked how far along my pregnancy is, he quickly replied "5 months now!" instead of telling them I'm not actually pregnant. FML

#21457890
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18488) - you deserved it (10479)

On 08/19/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I responded to an argument with my girlfriend by only using comebacks she'd used in previous arguments. I'm single now. FML

#21451268
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23156) - you deserved it (10122)

On 08/03/2015 at 10:14am - love - by Cygnus - United States (Iowa)

Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML

#21453297
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20147) - you deserved it (10119)

On 08/07/2015 at 9:59pm - misc - by godzilllla - United States (Washington)

Today, the nine year old girl I was babysitting got the hiccups, so I told her to drink some water upside down to cure them. She ended up vomiting on the floor. FML

Today, I found my daughter sobbing and trying to stick a wad of gauze to her vagina. She was having her first period. FML

#21453304
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23495) - you deserved it (9932)

On 08/07/2015 at 10:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my brother let me fly his two day old, expensive drone. Within a minute I had crashed it into a potato field. Four hours of searching and we still haven't found it. FML

#21453828
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19886) - you deserved it (9780)

On 08/09/2015 at 11:23am - money - by oh great - United Kingdom (Doncaster)

Today, I haven't shaved for so long the hair on my legs has split ends. FML

#21458206
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18534) - you deserved it (9745)

On 08/19/2015 at 9:00pm - misc - by ToddesPizza - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML

#21457959
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15915) - you deserved it (9639)

On 08/19/2015 at 7:34am - health - by julian1 (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: