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January 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23436) - you deserved it (15019)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by picking her up from class with her dog. Her dog decided to surprise me by dumping a load on my passenger seat. FML

#21337685
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17235) - you deserved it (14902)

On 01/15/2015 at 3:30pm - animals - by surprise - United States (Mississippi)

Today, after finishing my second glass of wine, I walked out of the bathroom and saw the tag on my hair dryer from last year's rehab visit. FML

#21329685
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20078) - you deserved it (13961)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:04pm - health - by mosaicevolution (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML

#21338477
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20752) - you deserved it (12170)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:37pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my little brother walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex and threatened to tell my parents. I paid him $30 to keep quiet. 15 minutes later he told them. FML

#21335701
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32223) - you deserved it (11582)

On 01/12/2015 at 11:43am - intimacy - by bowler99 - United States (New York)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

#21328982
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24600) - you deserved it (11228)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by 30000 - United States (California)

Today, a pretty girl joined the line at the bus station. I let her skip the line and go before me so I could sit next to her. After she bought her ticket, I realized there were no more seats left on that bus. I was told to get off, and had to take the next bus, sitting next to a snoring old man. FML

#21338193
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25099) - you deserved it (11145)

On 01/16/2015 at 10:41am - love - by Marfo101 (man) - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, after putting a bag of dirty laundry in the laundry room to wait for an open washer, I came back to find a "free stuff" sign on all of my expensive jeans, new towels, and favorite sweatshirts. The bag was over half empty. FML

#21344550
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23587) - you deserved it (10540)

On 01/26/2015 at 2:17pm - misc - by boogery - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

#21341327
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27401) - you deserved it (10125)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm - intimacy - by chelse_elyce - United States

Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML

#21334501
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30273) - you deserved it (9979)

On 01/10/2015 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by sisterlylove - United States (Missouri)

Today, I felt a painful lump on my jaw. After going on Google, I was convinced I either had an infected tooth or jaw cancer. In a panic, I rushed to the dentist and told the receptionist the problem. She pulled the dentist from an appointment, and he felt around my jaw. It was just a pimple. FML

#21346970
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5303) - you deserved it (9537)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:11pm - health - by not a cancerous pimple - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to go back to the restaurant I had just eaten at and beg for my tip back so I could afford my bus home. FML

Today, I saw a stick in my car and picked it up to throw it out the window. The "stick" turned out to have eyes. It was a dead lizard. FML

#21339043
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22419) - you deserved it (9417)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:30pm - animals - by bad luck Bianca - United States (Texas)



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