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June 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40720) - you deserved it (7382)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. It was going well until I accidentally passed gas. To add to the embarrassment, he rated it. I only got a 4 out of 10. FML

#21165721
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39346) - you deserved it (7302)

On 06/07/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by embarrassed girl (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML

#21193510
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42680) - you deserved it (7267)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55720) - you deserved it (7207)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML

#21180967
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53403) - you deserved it (7115)

On 06/19/2014 at 6:26pm - love - by forever alone - United States (New York)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59148) - you deserved it (7090)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML

#21166627
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54012) - you deserved it (7047)

On 06/07/2014 at 11:22pm - misc - by Un1ucky (woman) - United States

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

#21192954
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42338) - you deserved it (6820)

On 06/29/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by Unknown - United States

Today, I got called a slut. I don't know what is worse, the fact I was called it or that I felt strangely flattered that the person thought I was getting any. FML

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46444) - you deserved it (6645)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

#21183245
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44848) - you deserved it (6557)

On 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia



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