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June 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my long distance boyfriend told me no more nude pictures or sexting, as he's afraid the government will steal it all. FML

Today, at my all-night senior party, I was talking to the blind girl who I haven't had classes with since 9th grade. I unthinkingly opened the conversation with "Nice to see you again." FML

#21167586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38134) - you deserved it (8931)

On 06/08/2014 at 10:17pm - misc - by It'd be nice to see you too. - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62671) - you deserved it (8920)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

#21168476
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37191) - you deserved it (8906)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm - animals - by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#21182128
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50914) - you deserved it (8734)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML

#21192500
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42926) - you deserved it (8608)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML

#21159082
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34012) - you deserved it (8580)

On 06/01/2014 at 6:28am - animals - by Fat Arsed Lass - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50359) - you deserved it (8437)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I donated to a charity website. My card was repeatedly refused by the website but when I went on my account, I was charged for each time I tried. I was scammed by a charity. FML

#21193277
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53308) - you deserved it (8404)

On 06/30/2014 at 1:02am - money - by Charitable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I am so shy and friendless that my mother is literally setting up a play-date with one of her friend's daughters. I'm 25 years old and this is my best chance at making a friend. FML

#21164644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45214) - you deserved it (8400)

On 06/06/2014 at 2:24am - kids - by playdated - United States (California)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46415) - you deserved it (8348)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, my life is so boring that I started looking through my can of coins and sorting them out by year. The oldest coin I have is from 1963. FML

#21181414
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38397) - you deserved it (8257)

On 06/20/2014 at 1:05am - misc - by Gibbster_ (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

#21170087
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49597) - you deserved it (8249)

On 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm - kids - by idiotson - United States (New York)



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