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June 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

#21192717
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (55060)

On 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

#21179613
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24915) - you deserved it (50467)

On 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm - misc - by shtidsfpa (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, thinking we'd still be able to finish our project in time for tomorrow's deadline, my work group put off doing any work until today. When we logged into the website we have to use, we found it was down for maintenance all day. FML

#21173245
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21268) - you deserved it (43086)

On 06/13/2014 at 11:36am - work - by Anonymous - Afghanistan (Kabol)

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

#21177356
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24208) - you deserved it (42673)

On 06/16/2014 at 10:45pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML

#21165218
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23200) - you deserved it (39011)

On 06/06/2014 at 6:01pm - health - by shartface12 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my towel was stolen at the swimming pool. I quickly found the culprit, and to avoid a conflict, I just swiped it back when he wasn't looking. I felt pretty good about everything, until I got back home and realized it wasn't actually my towel after all. FML

#21193691
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26148) - you deserved it (38601)

On 06/30/2014 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a fancy charity dinner. I'm a schmoozer, so I decided to introduce myself to someone important. I asked enthusiastically, "So, how are you involved with all of this madness?" He frowned at me. I then remembered that this particular charity assists people with mental issues. FML

#21164174
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21199) - you deserved it (37944)

On 06/05/2014 at 6:23pm - misc - by charitableidiot (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

#21188385
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37027) - you deserved it (25214)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Respect101 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I made an excuse and didn't turn up at work. Little did I know my boss did the same. We both bumped into each other at the shopping centre across town. FML

#21185382
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39421) - you deserved it (23738)

On 06/23/2014 at 2:11pm - work - by AGB10 - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, two months after forgiving my girlfriend for breaking my heart by cheating on me, I found out that she's cheating again with the same guy. When I confronted her, she basically said I brought it on myself and that I was an idiot for not dumping her the first time. FML

#21191426
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42865) - you deserved it (23145)

On 06/28/2014 at 11:48am - love - by lovegame (man) - Singapore

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46213) - you deserved it (22824)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

Today, I had to bite the bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML

#21188382
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35421) - you deserved it (22221)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Roy Lawson - United States (California)



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