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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument while driving home from visiting family. We pulled into a gas station, and I went inside to grab a drink and cool down. When I came back out, both car and boyfriend were nowhere in sight. It was my car. FML

Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML

#20989886
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40205) - you deserved it (5466)

On 12/12/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my friends and I had our Christmas party. I ended up being the only one sober, and had to drive each and every person home. There were 15 of us. FML

#21006894
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36957) - you deserved it (5423)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:35am - misc - by good friend - United States (Montana)

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

#20984084
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65340) - you deserved it (5421)

On 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by mystery - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48935) - you deserved it (5411)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé left me waiting at the train station for two and a half hours because he offered his ex-girlfriend a lift to her friends wedding that was a few cities away. I normally wouldn't have minded, but I'm 6 months pregnant and it was pouring with rain. FML

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

#21007355
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47417) - you deserved it (5387)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML

#20993100
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49338) - you deserved it (5368)

On 12/15/2013 at 3:38am - love - by snowbum69 - United States (Idaho)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44603) - you deserved it (5345)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were arguing about him not communicating anymore. Instead of talking to me about it, he messages my mom to say, "I'm not mentally strong enough to handle her anymore." FML

#20996890
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40166) - you deserved it (5300)

On 12/18/2013 at 11:44am - love - by Iloverainbows10 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
204 comments

Today, I got a new chair at work. After spending 3 hours putting it together, I was called into my boss's office and let go. FML

#20979933
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40504) - you deserved it (5193)

On 12/03/2013 at 11:05pm - work - by helpme - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML

#21011731
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42920) - you deserved it (5179)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:57pm - love - by thisisavirus.exe (man) - United States (Oregon)



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