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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, upon hearing of the death of Nelson Mandela, I posted a link on Facebook to the South African children's hospital in his name and donated. I was completely ignored whilst my newsfeed became clogged by my middle-class friends with "RIP Nelson Mandela" and photos of Morgan Freeman. FML

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45190) - you deserved it (5596)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

#21007608
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42775) - you deserved it (5526)

On 12/27/2013 at 8:37pm - animals - by eyes wide SHIT (woman) - Australia

Today, I told my husband it would be great to spend an evening with a bottle of wine and a pile of blankets on the balcony of our cabin during the cruise. He decided it would be great to ditch me and go out gambling. FML

#20988964
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44033) - you deserved it (5524)

On 12/11/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Neglected (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

#20977509
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44267) - you deserved it (5509)

On 12/01/2013 at 9:50pm - kids - by no she wasn't high - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend bought a onesie. He sleeps in it, goes out in it and won't take it off, not even for sex. FML

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

#21003362
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39677) - you deserved it (5461)

On 12/24/2013 at 5:45am - misc - by yarenis - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took an exam in order to apply for a graduate program I want to get into. Last night, my boyfriend decided it was a good time to break up with me out of the blue. I broke down three times in the middle of the test, and I just barely failed it. FML

#20980454
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42914) - you deserved it (5436)

On 12/04/2013 at 1:39pm - love - by heartbroken - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my friends and I had our Christmas party. I ended up being the only one sober, and had to drive each and every person home. There were 15 of us. FML

#21006894
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36869) - you deserved it (5416)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:35am - misc - by good friend - United States (Montana)

Today, my boyfriend of five years got me a ring for Christmas. When I opened it, I was speechless and overjoyed. He then said, "It's just a ring. It doesn't mean anything." FML

#21003775
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47414) - you deserved it (5415)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:30pm - love - by Wtfbro (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

#20984084
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65143) - you deserved it (5410)

On 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by mystery - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I went on a 70-mile drive to the next town over to finally meet this beautiful girl I had talked to online. To my surprise, she looked exactly how she did in her pictures, minus the ring on her finger and the fiancé who wanted to punch me in the face. FML

#21006475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41872) - you deserved it (5392)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by William Johnson - United States (Alaska)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

#21007355
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47293) - you deserved it (5379)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)



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