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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML

#20993100
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46635) - you deserved it (5074)

On 12/15/2013 at 3:38am - love - by snowbum69 - United States (Idaho)

Today, my bandmate and I decided to propose to our girlfriends, who are also in the band, at the same time in the middle of a concert. His girlfriend said yes. Mine ran off the stage crying. FML

#20978799
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46795) - you deserved it (5005)

On 12/02/2013 at 10:42pm - love - by rock'n roller (man) -

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44598) - you deserved it (5003)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got a new chair at work. After spending 3 hours putting it together, I was called into my boss's office and let go. FML

#20979933
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38944) - you deserved it (4974)

On 12/03/2013 at 11:05pm - work - by helpme - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my husband it would be great to spend an evening with a bottle of wine and a pile of blankets on the balcony of our cabin during the cruise. He decided it would be great to ditch me and go out gambling. FML

#20988964
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40623) - you deserved it (4975)

On 12/11/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Neglected (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were arguing about him not communicating anymore. Instead of talking to me about it, he messages my mom to say, "I'm not mentally strong enough to handle her anymore." FML

#20996890
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36784) - you deserved it (4901)

On 12/18/2013 at 11:44am - love - by Iloverainbows10 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML

#20989946
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44670) - you deserved it (4896)

On 12/12/2013 at 6:27am - love - by Rumors - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44781) - you deserved it (4871)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I opened my heart to my father-in-law, telling him how he was a very good example for us and how his name would be great for our first born son, he interrupted, saying, "Cut the cheesy crap, now." FML

#20978596
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31698) - you deserved it (4849)

On 12/02/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

#21011750
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47444) - you deserved it (4828)

On 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by erjazo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

#20983816
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44538) - you deserved it (4796)

On 12/07/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by john doe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

#20977509
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39976) - you deserved it (4791)

On 12/01/2013 at 9:50pm - kids - by no she wasn't high - United States (Texas)

Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML

#20989886
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35992) - you deserved it (4779)

On 12/12/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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