Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

#21003528
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40243) - you deserved it (10545)

On 12/24/2013 at 11:53am - animals - by PityKitty (woman) -

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38033) - you deserved it (10119)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

#20987856
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51652) - you deserved it (9987)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

#21008430
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41102) - you deserved it (9744)

On 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm - health - by beemove (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

#21001381
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40827) - you deserved it (9570)

On 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, I introduced my dad, who is a surgeon, to the TV show House. I thought it'd be a good bonding experience. How wrong I was. He spent the whole time yelling about the "insane" medical inaccuracies, then lectured me about my crappy taste in TV. FML

#21011680
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36207) - you deserved it (9483)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51201) - you deserved it (9386)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I thought it would be to a good idea to introduce my indoor cat to my dog. The pee stains, multiple scratches, and puncture wounds to my face prove otherwise. FML

#20994387
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32350) - you deserved it (9377)

On 12/16/2013 at 3:52am - animals - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a party organised by my ex. I was the last to sit down, after looking at the nametags on all 50+ chairs. That's how I realised the chair labelled "Fuckface" was mine; the one located between her parents' seats. FML

#21006556
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39323) - you deserved it (9213) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/26/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by Puick (man) - France (Centre)

Today, my boyfriend found an old nude of me on his best friend's PS3. I had no idea this guy existed until we moved in with him. FML

Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years old. FML

#20987666
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41911) - you deserved it (8940)

On 12/10/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by Somerandomguy64 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

#20991120
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50828) - you deserved it (8698)

On 12/13/2013 at 10:10am - love - by wth? - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51410) - you deserved it (8435)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: