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December 2013

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Today, I covered a 10-hour shift for a sick coworker. Glad to earn some extra money for the holidays, I went to clock out. I hadn't even clocked in when I first got there at 7 am. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2013 at 11:02pm / United States / Work

Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML

by Wow. / 12/18/2013 at 1:23pm / United States / Love

Today, I went outside at 9am in my boxer shorts to get my mail in my garden. I'd put a shoe in the door to keep the door jammed open, but when I ran back, my dog had the shoe in his mouth and all the doors and windows were closed. FML

by gnafron / 12/31/2013 at 6:30am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals

Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

by rainastartree / 12/23/2013 at 4:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I took my girlfriend to a local drag racing spot to get her more involved with my friends. Her ex showed up and wanted to race me. I won the race, but blew my engine. I had to use his dad's towing service to get my car home. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2013 at 1:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

by Awkward / 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I had to tell McDonald's that my 11-year-old son thought it would be funny to take a dump in the urinal. I then had to clean it up. FML

by failedfather / 12/16/2013 at 11:34am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

by anon / 12/21/2013 at 9:13am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I finally watched Toy Story 3; I ended up crying when the toys almost die. After the movie, my girlfriend broke up with me because I embarrassed her. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 11:13am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2013 at 5:08pm / United States (Idaho) / Kids

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

by PityKitty / 12/24/2013 at 11:53am / Animals

Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 6:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend dumped me via Facebook. I cared more about the spelling mistakes he made than the actual message. FML

by dana / 12/16/2013 at 5:43pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love