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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

#20965985
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25849) - you deserved it (81640)

On 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML

#20944930
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15927) - you deserved it (64026)

On 11/04/2013 at 6:39am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25009) - you deserved it (62641)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25906) - you deserved it (52160)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

#20941762
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19890) - you deserved it (47438)

On 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm - health - by nl4 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, after working all week on a group project, I realized I forgot to submit the assignment and missed the deadline. I now have to tell my group that we automatically failed. FML

Today, in my second year at university, I took a pregnancy test. It is the only test I've passed all month. FML

#20966092
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30911) - you deserved it (44987)

On 11/21/2013 at 7:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

#20959504
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29175) - you deserved it (44012)

On 11/16/2013 at 5:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's the fourth day of my new diet. I told my friends and family to watch me every time I eat to make sure it's healthy. I got so desperate that I hid some chocolates in my pocket then scarfed them down while pooping. FML

#20941432
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16812) - you deserved it (43419)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

#20959868
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22182) - you deserved it (42885)

On 11/16/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML

#20957289
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21036) - you deserved it (42465)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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