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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was cycling home when I saw my sister, who lives a 4 hour drive away, walking past me on the path. I turned my head and called to her, causing me not to notice the pothole in front of me. My front wheel went in and I went over the handlebars. It wasn't even my sister. FML

#20933277
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36221) - you deserved it (10345)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:19am - misc - by karlajjjjj (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my parents surprised me by redecorating my room. I think they were more surprised by the box of naughty toys under my bed. FML

#20902324
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41998) - you deserved it (10331)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:41pm - intimacy - by A.Summers (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML

#20916326
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34392) - you deserved it (9891)

On 10/11/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by FriutlessApple (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

#20918380
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39592) - you deserved it (9680)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:33am - misc - by markerThief (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

#20922701
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43306) - you deserved it (9671)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML

#20903762
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31869) - you deserved it (9584)

On 10/01/2013 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55905) - you deserved it (9572)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

#20936372
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52472) - you deserved it (9222)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - intimacy - by snowwhite (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43010) - you deserved it (8988)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got so self-conscious about weight gain that I got paranoid about how much my Castle Crashers character was eating to heal. FML

#20913357
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30058) - you deserved it (8797)

On 10/09/2013 at 12:22am - health - by SunshineX7 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for well over an hour while riding it up to my weight and fitness class. Very funny, universe. FML

#20932462
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36649) - you deserved it (8712)

On 10/24/2013 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML

#20936013
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65099) - you deserved it (8604)

On 10/27/2013 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a ticket for speeding in a school zone. The school hasn't even been built yet. FML

#20905615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48058) - you deserved it (8455)

On 10/03/2013 at 2:23am - money - by joecool3426 (man) - United States



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