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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

#20908715
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42744) - you deserved it (3582)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by animal lover... -

Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML

#20903388
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37806) - you deserved it (3581)

On 10/01/2013 at 2:43pm - kids - by HGTV (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend's dad said he'd given my boyfriend £100 to take me out for a meal last night and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. Last night my boyfriend and I went to pizza hut, shared a pizza and split the bill. Turns out my boyfriend had simply pocketed the money without telling anyone. FML

#20903132
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45432) - you deserved it (3574)

On 10/01/2013 at 8:32am - love - by hmmm (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

#20909928
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50409) - you deserved it (3571)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm - love - by UHM (man) - United States

Today, I convinced my father that "Juanito", our relative who needed money for immediate surgery in Mexico was a stranger attempting to scam him. I was $1400 too late. FML

#20922898
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39927) - you deserved it (3562)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by . (woman) - United States

Today, I was told there was a bench warrant out for my arrest because a notice to appear for jury duty was sent to my old address and I never responded. I haven't lived at my old address for 2 years. FML

#20903036
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38318) - you deserved it (3554)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:34am - misc - by novapine (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML

#20928153
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34831) - you deserved it (3531)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by the_lameo_geek (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my brother sent me an image by Skype, saying I really had to see it. I figured it was some kind of stupid joke, but I tried to look anyway. It wouldn't open. Turns out he thought he could just rename the ".exe" on a virus to ".jpg" and it would still run. My brother's a cretin. FML

#20926554
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37594) - you deserved it (3527)

On 10/19/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to catch a train to get to my new job. I was stopped and told that I needed a pre-purchased ticket to enter the platform. The only way to get the ticket, they said, was by buying one on the platform. I arrived by taxi nearly an hour late for my first day. FML

#20916500
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35753) - you deserved it (3522)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:22pm - work - by sharkiewarkiemoosey (woman) - Switzerland (Ausser-Rhoden)

Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML

#20922962
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41623) - you deserved it (3510)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:52pm - work - by amy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML

#20939479
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46764) - you deserved it (3510)

On 10/30/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML

#20933837
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43194) - you deserved it (3509)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML

#20905964
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39888) - you deserved it (3503)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:39pm - work - by blargh - Russian Federation (Moscow City)



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