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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was cycling home when I saw my sister, who lives a 4 hour drive away, walking past me on the path. I turned my head and called to her, causing me not to notice the pothole in front of me. My front wheel went in and I went over the handlebars. It wasn't even my sister. FML

#20933277
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36032) - you deserved it (10300)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:19am - misc - by karlajjjjj (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my parents surprised me by redecorating my room. I think they were more surprised by the box of naughty toys under my bed. FML

#20902324
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40037) - you deserved it (9898)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:41pm - intimacy - by A.Summers (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

#20918380
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39371) - you deserved it (9655)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:33am - misc - by markerThief (man) - United States (California)

Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML

#20916326
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33210) - you deserved it (9566)

On 10/11/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by FriutlessApple (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML

#20903762
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31695) - you deserved it (9543)

On 10/01/2013 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

#20922701
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41554) - you deserved it (9330)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

#20936372
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52084) - you deserved it (9179)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - intimacy - by snowwhite (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52994) - you deserved it (9080)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41730) - you deserved it (8759)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got so self-conscious about weight gain that I got paranoid about how much my Castle Crashers character was eating to heal. FML

#20913357
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29391) - you deserved it (8647)

On 10/09/2013 at 12:22am - health - by SunshineX7 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for well over an hour while riding it up to my weight and fitness class. Very funny, universe. FML

#20932462
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36252) - you deserved it (8644)

On 10/24/2013 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML

#20936013
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64573) - you deserved it (8555)

On 10/27/2013 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a ticket for speeding in a school zone. The school hasn't even been built yet. FML

#20905615
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47780) - you deserved it (8421)

On 10/03/2013 at 2:23am - money - by joecool3426 (man) - United States



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