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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

#20839551
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38967) - you deserved it (9229)

On 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by stinky car - United States (Alabama)

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've had the biggest crush on. He spent the next ten minutes calling me delusional, said that I know nothing about him, and laughed that "this isn't Twilight, for fuck's sake". All he did when I started crying was pat me on the head and leave. FML

#20826991
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52355) - you deserved it (9161)

On 08/08/2013 at 8:54am - love - by names suck and so do I (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I got a steering wheel cover to stop my obsessive steering wheel picking. After putting it on, I realized it was crooked, causing me to have OCD fits every time I drive. I can still pick at the steering wheel around the cover. FML

#20845898
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30283) - you deserved it (9051)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:08am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was feeling down because I always think that I'm overweight. My boyfriend tried to prove me wrong by lifting me up. I threw his back out. FML

#20823726
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45620) - you deserved it (9043)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:01pm - health - by GirlfriendsAreBadForYourBack - United States (New York)

Today, after gaining all the weight back that I had lost after my first marriage, I realized that the only thing that fits me now is my wedding ring. FML

#20821309
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35390) - you deserved it (9005)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:00am - health - by this sucks - United States (Texas)

Today, I copied some files to my phone while borrowing my grandfather's laptop. As I selectively deleted the files from the recycle bin, I noticed some pictures, and ended up seeing way more than I wanted to of his erect penis. FML

#20829072
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42243) - you deserved it (8923)

On 08/09/2013 at 1:23pm - intimacy - by whyyjustwhy - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66984) - you deserved it (8834)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

#20823279
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45013) - you deserved it (8834)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:19am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML

#20819060
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40298) - you deserved it (8813)

On 08/03/2013 at 5:57pm - health - by WTF, America? (man) - Sweden

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

#20853141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41134) - you deserved it (8758)

On 08/25/2013 at 12:30am - love - by Tyler - United States

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47426) - you deserved it (8737)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, my boyfriend's freshly-repainted car got keyed. He's literally more of an inconsolable wreck now than he was when his own mother passed away last year. When I tried hinting that he was overreacting, he told me to go to hell. FML

#20861652
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37191) - you deserved it (8558)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

#20815680
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41910) - you deserved it (8536)

On 08/01/2013 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)



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